Sunday, January 29, 2017

"Can God do it Mom?"



"Can God do it, Mom, can he heal something like that?" my son asks with a low, earnest voice.

 Our man-child looks at me with grave eyes, his heart breaking.

All at once I see the man he is becoming and the innocent sweet child who would hold my hand and look up at me, smiling with mischief.

The two images collide in a sacred moment with such force it almost takes my breath away.

"What kind of damage does that do to a girl?"

"What has to go wrong with a person that they would treat someone like that, someone they should protect?"

Grief fills his voice.

Confusion, anger, pain fill his expression.

He is hurting for his friend.

I want desperately to share hope, but he needs to wrestle.

My heart twists with pain as I witness his turmoil.

I have felt this as women have bravely shared their stories with me. My heart has struggled deeply with the injustice, exploitation, and suffering.

I recognize this sacred moment.

Moments when knowledge and personal experience meet.

All of a sudden free will doesn't seem like such a good thing anymore. People can choose to use their free will to hurt others, in profound, life-changing ways. Free will, the ability to be independent, choose our own values and behavior loses its appeal when abused. Choices can be made that grievously injure others, and I become intensely aware that there has to be more than this.

I look at my son, his spirit is burdened. His broad shoulders, tense as he bears the weight of this. It is not like he didn't know these things happen. But now it isn't something that happens to others.

It can happen to

someone he would have protected if he could.

It isn't intangible anymore. It is real.

 It has a face now.


 I love his compassionate heart. He values justice and integrity. He is a protector. He is a safe place. He is strong and gentle all at once. This man-child is growing up into a godly warrior. 
His heart values what God values.

In this moment of turmoil, my heart breaks as his heart deals with the reality of this tarnished world.
A world where people who should love one another hurt each other instead. I cannot shield him from this truth. I want to. There are no words. This is the world we live in. It can be ugly.
 Humanity is capable of great atrocities.

It is hard to see his innocent soul crash into hard truths.

This is real.
It happens to people he knows.

I am also bursting with pride as I witness him grasp for God in the midst of his confusion.  As I see his anguish for another's experience and pain, I am moved by his concern and compassion.  He has internalized loving people as he wants to be loved, so much so that he cannot make sense of this kind of behavior.

He is already an excellent man.

His solemn face gazes at me. His body tense with the fervor of his struggle.

"Can he Mom? Can God fix something like this?"

Looking at me expectantly with grief-filled eyes.

He is longing for hope.


God is big enough for this!

I have seen it with my own eyes dear one. God made women strong and resilient. While he wants them respected, cherished and loved, he is enough to meet them in this place and heal the hurt.

 God can bring beauty, even from this.

He is a God of miracles.

He is enough.

As I hug my child, I feel him relax into that truth. He releases the tension and feels the sorrow.


It is a sacred moment.

There is hope.

God is enough.










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