Advent- A Preparation

Christmas is a time full of traditions. From the baking to the music we listen to. Christmas lights to games like "hide the thimble."

Certain traditions are a vital part of getting my heart and mind ready to celebrate the season, and it's meaning. As a Christian, Christ is central to our relationship with God. Sending his son to earth was God's grace. Christ made a way for us to enjoy an intimate relationship with Him again. Without Christ coming as a baby and living among us, we would not have access to God. That is why we celebrate his birth, death and resurrection. 

As a little girl, I looked forward to lighting the Advent wreath. It was a practice we did at home and church. It is a tradition meant to help prepare our hearts. I find it provides focus to the season. I appreciate it because it allows me to build a rhythm.  A quiet place where truth, clarity and gratitude can grow. 

There are four candles for the four Sunday's of Advent and then a Christ candle. There are numerous themes for Advent. We celebrated the themes of Hope, Peace, Joy and Love. On Christmas Eve or Christmas Day the Christ candle it lit. In Him, all these things find their fullness, and we look forward to His return.

With the recent world events, we are all very aware of the darkness that has marred creation. Advent helps me place my focus back where it belongs.  On Jesus.

Hope~Isaiah 9:2

The people who walked in darkness

    have seen a great light;

those who dwelt in a land of deep darkness,

    on them has light shone.

Peace ~ Isaiah 9:6-7

For to us a child is born,

    to us a son is given;

and the government shall be upon his shoulder,

    and his name shall be called

Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,

    Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

 Of the increase of his government and of peace

    there will be no end,

on the throne of David and over his kingdom,

    to establish it and to uphold it

with justice and with righteousness

    from this time forth and forevermore.

The zeal of the Lord of hosts will do this.

Joy~Isaiah 2:7-10

How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of those who bring the happy news of peace and salvation, the news that the God of Israel reigns. The watchmen shout and sing with joy, for right before their eyes they see the Lord God bring his people home again. Let the ruins of Jerusalem break into joyous song, for the Lord has comforted his people; he has redeemed Jerusalem. The Lord has bared his holy arm before the eyes of all the nations; the ends of the earth shall see the salvation of our God.

Love~1John 4:13-16

By this we know that we abide in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit.  And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God. So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.

Christ's birth set it all in motion. His life, death, resurrection and coming return are the consummation. In this time, we wait patiently for him. Advent is a tool used to help us focus. It creates space to celebrate with profound gratitude the happy news of peace and salvation. God with us. 

A Response to Fear

Reading through social media this week, it became clear that the global events of the last days took away our compassion and replaced it with fear.  Only a couple of months ago the site of a small boy, who died in a desperate run for freedom resulted in people pushing governments to open borders. Now there is a push to close our borders. In Canada, a Mosque was burned, a Hindu temple vandalized. A Muslim women was attacked in Toronto. These are the actions of cowardly people. These are the actions of fear.

I do believe in the system, proper background checks, proper accountability. Instead of closing our borders, we should be asking our government to keep our immigration ministry workers overseas so there is a better chance of proper information being found. At this point they want to remove all overseas workers and do the whole job from Canada. That is right, in reality the dollar means more than the safety of our citizens both those here and the ones wanting to become part of our great country. We should not close our borders. These people need hope and a future.

When I was a young mother, we were experiencing circumstances that caused me great fear. It began to crush me. It robbed me of joy, hope and strength. I was overwhelmed and sinking in it. During an evening with our small group. We studied the Bible and them spent some time in silence and prayer. As I quieted my mind in the presence of God, he reminded me through a vision of Jesus and his follower Peter. 

The historical account is recorded in Matthew 14:22-33 the disciples went off in the boat while Jesus stayed back to pray. The boat was off a distance and Jesus walked out on the water to it. After identifying himself, Peter asks Jesus to call him to walk on the water. It was at this point I saw things from Peters viewpoint. Getting out of the boat, looking at the face of Jesus. Then, feeling the strength of the wind against my face. My eyes falling from Jesus to see the waves and wind around me. Sinking, panic, fear. Crying out "Lord, save me!". Feeling the strength of a firm grip on my arm and being pulled to safety. 

I felt God gently tell me "Keep your eyes on my face, don't look at the storm around you." 

Keep your eyes on my face.

The fear left. Each day, my purpose was to keep my eyes on Jesus. Peace, hope and joy returned to my soul.

You see, we kid ourselves thinking we can control our world, our circumstances, our lives. We cannot. We don't. It is a delusion we try desperately to keep in place until unimaginable events take place.

Keeping my eyes on Jesus casts away fear because it brings assurance. To live is Christ, to die is gain (Philippians 1:21). Either way, I am secure. I have nothing to fear. I can live in freedom because I know the love, faithfulness and goodness of my Lord. I know he has it all under control and he is worthy of my complete trust. I know his will endures in spite of the plans of men. I know he is just, true and sovereign.

For those impacted personally by the chaos, I pray fear will not take hold of your life. I pray freedom for you.

I reject fear. It only steals and robs my soul of all that is good. When the world around me does not make sense, I look at the face of my Lord. I ask him to steady my gaze on Him. I will not let fear take away the freedom Jesus promises me. And I will seek to bring that freedom to others.

Look at the face of Jesus.  Let his perfect love chase away fear.

A Response to Chaos

I could have given up on Facebook this week. At first, the ridiculous Starbucks cup débâcle. Then the violence that struck and brought a tidal wave of opinions. Honestly, it was a lot. 

First, brothers and sisters in Christ, really!?! That is exactly the stuff the media loves to pounce on. It makes us look petty, judgmental, and it is a poor representation of the love of God. Let's be a little more discerning in the future! 

I have to laugh as I see the very people lumping all Christians into one miserable, judgemental group of ignorants,  then turn around and remind the world that not all Muslims are terrorists. I laugh because honestly, how else can I respond? I agree, Muslims are not all terrorists. The refugees are fleeing that very insanity to seek safer borders. The irony is that tolerance is promoted as a virtue, yet those promoting it are not extending it to all groups.

As a result of all the chaos, I have had the Prayer of St. Francis going through my head. I first learned these words in a children's choir. Even as a child, these words were impactful. I knew even then that the world would be so different if mankind could behave this way, if I could behave this way.

The Prayer of St. Francis

Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace.

Where there is hatred, let me sow love;

Where there is injury, pardon;

Where there is doubt, faith;

Where there is despair, hope;

Where there is darkness, light;

Where there is sadness, joy.

O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek

To be consoled as to console,

To be understood as to understand,

To be loved as to love;

For it is in giving that we receive;

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;

It is in dying to self that we are born to eternal life.

It isn't my natural response, it is the response that comes from being close to God.

In my heart of hearts, this is who I want to be. In reality, well...

That is why I have been meditating on these words. That is why I beg God to change my human nature.

Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace.

Where there is hatred, let me sow love;

Amen

Catch and Release. Wait, WHAT???

I am sitting in the airport waiting for a flight. It is Sister's Weekend!! Yay!! I love these small get aways with my sister. So awesome!!

This time we are meeting in Calgary. Shopping, good food, girl talk. THE BEST! And for any and all sisters, a necessity!!

This time we get to see my sweet girl and her team play some Volleyball. I am barely able to acknowledge my excitement for fear I may completely startle the people around me. I am worried that if I let the door open a little, the damn will break. It is quite likely that would result in a 911 call because the elderly person sitting 10 feet to my right may have a heart attack. That is how excited I am.

I have not seen my girls' sweet face in 75 days. I only counted for writing this, really! For 18 years I have cared for this precious offspring. At the most we have spent a week apart.  I know she is an adult, but let's be honest, in my heart of hearts, she is my baby girl! 75 days!!! 

At this point I would like to acknowledge there are different kinds of Mom's. We each approach our role uniquely. That is good, in fact, it is great! I will celebrate your strengths and difference, in return, please allow me mine. Diversity is good people :)

I am the Mom that gets grumpy when school supplies turn up in the stores in the middle of July. What is up with that?! We haven't even had time to unwind from the year we just finished! 

I start slipping into a funk at the end of August because September is right around the corner.  It takes all my will power to not snap when yet another cashier reminds me that school is starting soon. No I am not eager to send my kids off again! We are having fun!! 

I count down the days to Christmas break and throw a party when I find out Spring Break is two glorious weeks. 

While I know my kids need to get a summer job,  I do not want to share the precious little time I have left. I feel this on the inside while I tell them " No way are you lying around next summer! It is time for you to experience real work! You are getting a job!!" I say it emphatically, and convincingly I might add. Then at night when they are asleep, I ask Craig if they really need to, I want to play instead. Yeah, I know, poor Craig! For these reasons, in order to prevent overwhelming our children with, well...me, it was good we handed them over for someone else to educate. I am jealous of all who get more time with them than me. That is the truth.

You may be a Mom who rejoices with what causes me grief. I may feel dismay at what brings you great happiness. I am okay with that. It is alright that we do this differently, I am convinced these differences are fantastic,  you are an amazing Mom! 

So for the first time in my life, I have not seen my sweet daughter for 75 days in a row. Yes, to those of you with little ones tugging on your pant legs, it is going to happen. Sooner than you think. It is completely unimaginable. In truth, it is totally splendid and thoroughly awful all at once. 

In 1 sleep, I will see her sweet face. Oh, how I miss it!! I will see her stunning eyes that with one glance tell me everything I need to know. I will hear her beautiful voice, laugh and wit. Best of all, I will get to wrap her up in my arms and hug her tight,  give her rosy cheek a kiss, and run my hands through her gorgeous hair tempted beyond belief to braid it as I did when she was little.

The next part, well I am not so sure how to do it. I do not actually think I will be able to unwrap the hug. I don't think I will actually be able to release her. No, really! Honest! I mean it! I am actually afraid I will just drag her back home like a Mother bear bring her cub back to the den. Can't you just see it??? Lord. Have. Mercy. I can't breath!!

Tears are streaming down my face as I type this in the airport lobby. How am I going to let her go?! Help... I still can't breath!!

I am glad it is my sister coming with me. As an older sister, she is immune to my tears. My awesome, and amazing husband simply is not. She alone is equipped for this first official "catch and release" visit. 

First, she may be small but she is shockingly strong and incredibly willful, if needed, I believe she will be able to pry me off and free my daughter. Secondly, she can effectively employ the technique of mocking to shame me into appropriate behaviour. She has had decades of unique training for this as an older sibling. It is a super power she has keenly honed to perfection. Finally, to avoid the drama little sisters resort to, she has developed her skills of wit and humour.  She has learned exactly how and when to get me to laugh instead of cry. She is excellent at this. Enough said. 

So while, I am thrilled, I am also a little apprehensive. I have the perfect companion for this adventure. Thank you Lord. What a gift my Sister is! So...here we go!!!

Don"t Throw the Baby Out With The Bathwater!

I am currently trying to encourage one of my sons to read a book he doesn't agree with conceptually. Just the conversations we have had about trying to engage with information that does not suit our perspective has been amazing, thought provoking and, for me, fun!

Critical thinking is something we deeply value. We have always encouraged our kids to challenge ideas. As they have gotten older, we are trying to encourage them to challenge and evaluate their beliefs and ideas.

It is easy to slip into lazy thinking. I am guilty of this, so much so sometimes I completely miss the point of something. (Just ask my cousin whose satirical posts I respond to before my morning coffee!) :)

The biggest trap for me is getting stuck reading material that agrees with my world view. If all I do is validate my perspective with information that agrees with me, I risk becoming a lazy thinker. I have to consistently look for material and sources that challenge me. Is it comfortable? No! I often find myself having strong reactions, maybe feeling incredulous or even angry. When that happens, I am actually at my most vulnerable intellectually. I find that I have to push on, or I may "throw the baby out with the bathwater" so to speak.

Our values of diversity and critical thinking were partly responsible for choosing Public School for our children. We knew that in the public system our values as Christians would be overtly challenged, especially as our kids grew older.  We try to take advantage of those opportunities to discuss with our kids what they are learning. We have numerous opportunities to evaluate the positions presented, contrast them with our own and challenge ourselves to interact with opposing ideas.  A diversity of thinking is valuable!
I try to take advantage of textbooks lying on my kitchen table. Taking the chance to peer through them, I look for topics of study that might provide a good discussion. I question our kids about projects and what topics they were covering in classes to open dialogue.

It is important that our kids explore and challenge their faith. We do not want them to believe because we believe. We try to discuss diverse approaches to faith and the logic around them. Such discussions expose the areas we need to understand more and investigate. The ultimate goal is an honest exploration for Truth. They need to determine for themselves what they believe and why.

Our son disagrees with the premise of the book I am trying to get him to read. I have told him that I don't want him to conform to the ideas of the book. I do not ever want him just to accept information. I want him to wrestle with it, think about it from different angles and evaluate. He has a great mind, we value it and want him to use it.

I have tried to convey that it is wise for us to read the information we don't agree with whether it is about faith, science, politics, health care, vaccines, abortion, anything. I am trying to teach him the value of setting our assumptions aside.  If we read information from a perspective that is different from our own and seek to understand the position, it makes us sharper.  Honest evaluation makes us more informed, helps us better understand the other side and encourages us to challenge our own perspective. We may be surprised that there are certain things we agree on even if our conclusions are different. It is not enough to limit our reading of information that already supports what we already believe.

There are a few steps I want him to learn to take when presented with ideas that challenge his own:

1. Clearly define the premises presented and seek to understand the position presented.
2. What are the arguments used to support the premise?
3. What are the strengths of the argument, are these valid?
4. What are weaknesses of the argument, what is invalid?
5. What points do I find convincing, worthy of consideration or do I agree with? Why?
6. What points do I find unconvincing, or do I disagree with? Why?
7. In what way am I emotionally reacting with the information? Do I want to mock the logic Am I feeling angry? Am I dismissing it with incredulity? Why?
8. What are my counter arguments?
9. Has this exposed a weakness in my own thinking? What steps am I going to take in response?
10. What areas of my own position do I need to understand more fully or investigate more?

This kind of parenting requires much effort. Mostly because I need to lead by example and take the time necessary to engage. The more I read through social media, the more I am committed to it.

I want to raise kids who are open to respectful dialogue. I want them to take the time and effort to try to understand. I don't want them to think they know the arguments of an alternate perspective.  I want them to truly understand the logic of that perspective.  I do not want them to seek out information that supports only their own view. I want them to be well-rounded, informed thinkers. I want them to be knowledgeable and respectful of another's position. I want them to be able to critique and evaluate ideas, so they are not caught up by rhetoric given by a charismatic presenter. My goal is to raise respectful, critical thinkers.