Don"t Throw the Baby Out With The Bathwater!

I am currently trying to encourage one of my sons to read a book he doesn't agree with conceptually. Just the conversations we have had about trying to engage with information that does not suit our perspective has been amazing, thought provoking and, for me, fun!

Critical thinking is something we deeply value. We have always encouraged our kids to challenge ideas. As they have gotten older, we are trying to encourage them to challenge and evaluate their beliefs and ideas.

It is easy to slip into lazy thinking. I am guilty of this, so much so sometimes I completely miss the point of something. (Just ask my cousin whose satirical posts I respond to before my morning coffee!) :)

The biggest trap for me is getting stuck reading material that agrees with my world view. If all I do is validate my perspective with information that agrees with me, I risk becoming a lazy thinker. I have to consistently look for material and sources that challenge me. Is it comfortable? No! I often find myself having strong reactions, maybe feeling incredulous or even angry. When that happens, I am actually at my most vulnerable intellectually. I find that I have to push on, or I may "throw the baby out with the bathwater" so to speak.

Our values of diversity and critical thinking were partly responsible for choosing Public School for our children. We knew that in the public system our values as Christians would be overtly challenged, especially as our kids grew older.  We try to take advantage of those opportunities to discuss with our kids what they are learning. We have numerous opportunities to evaluate the positions presented, contrast them with our own and challenge ourselves to interact with opposing ideas.  A diversity of thinking is valuable!
I try to take advantage of textbooks lying on my kitchen table. Taking the chance to peer through them, I look for topics of study that might provide a good discussion. I question our kids about projects and what topics they were covering in classes to open dialogue.

It is important that our kids explore and challenge their faith. We do not want them to believe because we believe. We try to discuss diverse approaches to faith and the logic around them. Such discussions expose the areas we need to understand more and investigate. The ultimate goal is an honest exploration for Truth. They need to determine for themselves what they believe and why.

Our son disagrees with the premise of the book I am trying to get him to read. I have told him that I don't want him to conform to the ideas of the book. I do not ever want him just to accept information. I want him to wrestle with it, think about it from different angles and evaluate. He has a great mind, we value it and want him to use it.

I have tried to convey that it is wise for us to read the information we don't agree with whether it is about faith, science, politics, health care, vaccines, abortion, anything. I am trying to teach him the value of setting our assumptions aside.  If we read information from a perspective that is different from our own and seek to understand the position, it makes us sharper.  Honest evaluation makes us more informed, helps us better understand the other side and encourages us to challenge our own perspective. We may be surprised that there are certain things we agree on even if our conclusions are different. It is not enough to limit our reading of information that already supports what we already believe.

There are a few steps I want him to learn to take when presented with ideas that challenge his own:

1. Clearly define the premises presented and seek to understand the position presented.
2. What are the arguments used to support the premise?
3. What are the strengths of the argument, are these valid?
4. What are weaknesses of the argument, what is invalid?
5. What points do I find convincing, worthy of consideration or do I agree with? Why?
6. What points do I find unconvincing, or do I disagree with? Why?
7. In what way am I emotionally reacting with the information? Do I want to mock the logic Am I feeling angry? Am I dismissing it with incredulity? Why?
8. What are my counter arguments?
9. Has this exposed a weakness in my own thinking? What steps am I going to take in response?
10. What areas of my own position do I need to understand more fully or investigate more?

This kind of parenting requires much effort. Mostly because I need to lead by example and take the time necessary to engage. The more I read through social media, the more I am committed to it.

I want to raise kids who are open to respectful dialogue. I want them to take the time and effort to try to understand. I don't want them to think they know the arguments of an alternate perspective.  I want them to truly understand the logic of that perspective.  I do not want them to seek out information that supports only their own view. I want them to be well-rounded, informed thinkers. I want them to be knowledgeable and respectful of another's position. I want them to be able to critique and evaluate ideas, so they are not caught up by rhetoric given by a charismatic presenter. My goal is to raise respectful, critical thinkers.