I am married to a Preacher. These thoughts run through my head when he speaks. It is times like these where being a 5'11" redhead works against me. I am easy to spot and in a crowd!
Love my man, but whoa do I panic when he goes off script!
Or even when he is on script...
Well, any time he speaks really!
Oh, baby. My blood pressure rises just writing about it!
There are at least two reasons he chooses to have these honest sharing moments, and while I agree with him in theory, I don't always remember that at the moment.
There is a reason he does not share his manuscript with me before he talks. I think he likes the wide-eyed panic that contorts my face, which he conveniently gets a perfect view of from the stage.There is a brief moment before I compose myself because I know someone somewhere is going to turn to see my reaction. Always one to enjoy a joke, it is his version of fun.
I know Craig takes the responsibility of teaching very seriously, I know he prays and carefully researches each time. I witness many of the hours of wrestling and preparation, and I trust his wisdom. I fully realize that these are my reactions to work out with God and 20+ years in, it is kind of a joke between us now. If something impacts the kids or myself, he is careful to ask our permission. It is an exercise in trust for me.
As I sit, anxiously wondering what people must think of him now, I have to rationally argue with myself.
1. This kind of raw honesty helps people remember we are human too. We struggle with the same things they struggle with. It is good for people to know this and realize we live on the same earth, we are all in this together!
Where I struggle with this is that my husband is a very self-controlled man and while he is not perfect, I don't want people to think badly of him.
2. Some people struggle with putting their church leaders on a pedestal. No one is more aware than us that we do not belong up there. This bare honesty is Craig's way of jumping off that pedestal. He regularly shares as a way of helping our church family from being tempted to put him back up there!
Just because my husband works at a church does not mean we are saintly, pure and sinless. We make mistakes, sin, confess and move on to renewal like everyone else. We do not have it all together, and it is good to let people into that. Right!?!
I worry people are going to judge him. Our church family is fantastic, don't get me wrong. But for some reason, that fear always rises up.
This is all going on in my head while he keeps right on track, preaching away! No wonder I need another coffee and some Tylenol right now!
If you have ever wondered what your preacher's wife might be thinking, it is probably some version of this!
Now, when is he on the preaching schedule again???
So grateful for authentic preachers like Craig, and authentic church leaders like you... :)
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your encouraging words!❤
ReplyDeleteI came across your blog here and I can honestly say God is most definitely working through your husband and this week in particular it was as if his sermon was directed right at my husband it was unbelievable! Ive said it before and will say it again Craig's honesty his humor and his real true view of what it means to be a Christian, and a Mennonite is so true. The added bonus for me is his Fraser Valley heritage the fact that he references things such as the chilli bowl on Sundays it is like a hug from home! Such a blessing to Westwood and our family!
ReplyDelete<3 thank you Donna!
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