How Do I Bring This Up Over Coffee?

"If he was willing to die for what he believed, why didn't he ever talk to me about it?" I heard this on an episode of Grey's Anatomy, it has haunted my thoughts since.

It caught me off guard.

It hit me deep.

I am guilty of this. I desperately want to have conversations with people about what they believe, questions they may have about God. I want to tell you of His mercy and grace to me and how a personal relationship with Him has transformed my life.

But, I am afraid.

• I don't want you to think I am like some of those crazy TV evangelists. Seriously, I worry about that!
• I don't want you to think I am only your friend so I can tell you about God. I am your friend because you are an amazing, fantastic person, and I feel grateful to know you.
• I think my husbands job and our work as Pastors are intimidating, and I do not want to make you uncomfortable.
• I don't want you to feel forced into a conversation that you do not wish to have.
• I am afraid if I start the conversation, it will scare you, and you will not want to be my friend.
• I don't know if you have been hurt by other people who were Christians, or had people try to shove their beliefs down your throat; I don't want to remind you of them, or be like that.

Honestly, it is very humbling to admit these fears out loud. I can talk with a stranger about God easier than I can with you, my friend. These excuses are weak. They sound silly to me as I type them out. Especially in light of the powerful work God has done. He deserves better from me, and you do too. My heart is bursting to talk about it with you over coffee, hear your ideas and yet, my mouth won't open up and say the words.

Can you believe I am a Pastor's wife? I am so horrible at this?!

I know right!?!

There have been times where precious friends have moved on to heaven, and I have been overwhelmed with the urge to come and share with you that you can be sure and have peace about what happens after we die. I want to tell you that even though life is hard, there is so much more than what the world has to offer.

I look for opportunities and then take the safe way out.

I have failed you.

I would love for you to ask me about God. That would be easier for me.

I am so weak!

Here is the thing, how will you have the chance to know if I won't speak? I need you to know your options. I need you to be able to explore, ask questions and make an informed choice.

So, here is what I am going to do.

I am going to be more bold. I am going to risk opening up conversations about God. I will not preach. I will listen. I will respect your boundaries.

Please know this, I care for you. Because I care, I desperately want to share with you why I love God so much. I want you to know why I willingly give my life for Him.

Can we talk?