Here are a few more things we have picked up along the way.
6. Warriors have the heart of a hero. They are naturally wired to defend.They are fiercely protective of their tribe. It is exponentially harder for them to watch those they love get hurt than it is for themselves to be hurt. Their instinct is to jump into your problem and take the hits themselves. You cannot let them. They need to know you love this aspect about them and recognize the depth of their feelings in these situations.
7. Warriors need a gentle response. If you take a Warrior stance against them, LOOK OUT! You just hit the big red button! If it becomes clear they will not get their way, the goal shifts. All of a sudden winning means making everyone else as miserable as they are. This cannot happen or their behavior is rewarded.
8. Warriors need to understand. They are typically very black and white. If they are afraid or uninformed, they will shift into fight mode. This is not always possible to avoid as in our surgery experience. That was scary for our Warrior no matter how much we talked or answered his questions. Whenever possible, take the time to sit, listen and answer their questions. Defiant behavior may be the result of fear or misunderstanding.
9. Warriors are natural leaders and need strong, clear, consistent leadership. In a leadership vacuum, they will take over and run the world at 2 years of age. As the parent, your leadership has to be loving and have very clearly defined (no loopholes allowed) behaviors and expectations.
Give them a chance to succeed at leadership, to work off their rough edges. Our Warrior is a natural collaborator. He doesn't actually want to dictate but loves working together for the benefit of everyone. There are times when he can't see past himself but that is normal teen behavior. When given the chance to see that everyone can win, he usually picks that option.
10 Warriors need encouragement. They often feel like they are bad because they fight so much. Warriors do not always understand their need to fight. They can feel like their family dislikes them because of their need to battle.
It is important for you and the whole family to help them see very clearly what their strengths are, what they are good at and why even their need to fight is a large part of what is exceptional about them. Warriors seem confident, they often are not. Tell them daily what their strengths are and why they are amazing.
We still have conflict now and then, but let's be honest, that is normal. We have five different people with different viewpoints and perspectives. We will not always agree. Conflict isn't bad, as long as we remain respectful and kind, which again, doesn't always happen. It is important that we equip ourselves and our families for healthy conflict. Everyone needs to be able to express themselves and work it out respectfully. It is our job as parents to know how to do that and teach our kids. When things go sideways in an arguement, we take a time out. When we come back to it, we own our behavior, apologize, correct our choices and press the restart button.
We are having a blast with our Warrior teen and his siblings.
If you are in the young years of raising a Warrior. Be encouraged! By building consistency, focusing on your Warriors strengths and viewing them positively, the teen years can be AMAZING!! You don't want to break their will, the goal is to guide it and direct it in positive ways. They will need their relentless doggedness for what they are designed to accomplish in this life. Not to mention, they give you a ton of amazing stories along the way! Take it a day at a time, look for the blessings. Not everyone gets this chance!
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