Every Day Moments Lived Well

I have done a lot of thinking about life lately. Perhaps one of the reasons God had me start blogging was that he knew writing would help me work through the transitions we are experiencing.

As we prepare to launch our first child into her next chapter, I find myself reminiscing about the chapter that is closing.

One of my close friends made the comment ruefully "So much of our time is busy with just living, school, meals, homework, laundry." She is right. There is a lot of time just spent doing the regular boring old things. The mundane tasks of living.

As I look back over our lives together as a family, it is a collection of those everyday moments.For the most part they are moments lived well. Moments that I treasure. 

We never upgraded from a starter home. We were blessed with a gift that enabled us To do some major renovations. We took out a wall, created an open living area with an island and computer area for homework convenience in our kitchen. As our kids began to grow my Mom once said "You might need a bigger house. This one will be bursting at the seams." Craig quickly replied "Studies show that families that live in tight quarters are closer. We are staying right here."  

Now, I know there are exceptions to the rule. There are factors like communication, interaction and other aspects of family living that will impact relational commitment. However, tight quarters do facilitate those factors. This is a slice of our experience. 

Living in tight quarters has created opportunities to learn to get along. Limited space has taught us how to share. We have one computer, one TV and one, very out of date, gaming console and screen. The kids had to learn to take turns, negotiate and sometimes figure out when to walk away. They had to learn when to practice their music and when they couldn't because someone needed to have quiet for studying. Our small home created situations where we had to learn how to work through the sharing of that space daily.

Over time we realized that our children continued to congregate in our kitchen at the island, even when they could have gone to a quiet place or to their own rooms. Well, to another room. The boys chose to share a room so they could have a room for Lego and other activities. They still share a room out of choice. They each have their loft bed and are tucked into the smallest bedroom in the house at 16 and soon to be 15 years of age. Honestly, it just makes me laugh. They are as different from one another as two kids could be! One an extreme extrovert the other an even more extreme introvert. When we let them know they can have their own space, they both express a preference to share their room. I love that!!

We have had great holidays. Camping, times at the lake. We have had great trips generously given by family to places we probably wouldn't have been able to get to on our own. But those special times are not what I will miss. We will have more of those God willing. 

It is the every day moments doing homework, having them help me get dinner on the table, eating breakfast together at the island that I will miss. It is sitting down to dinner and asking what was the best part of the day, the challenging or funny part and hearing each other's stories that I will miss. It is listening with interest as I fold laundry in another room when the kids are trying to figure out what to watch together, or tackling a philosophical idea or how they will negotiate a conflict. It will be walking past the boys bedroom and hearing the rumble of their manly voices as they chat, or argue, before falling asleep that I will miss. It  will be those missing moments that will make this house seem too big one day.

It is the everyday moments. Teaching them healthy conflict, exploring ideas together, hearing their opinions or thoughts. Quin's millions of questions, Connor's quick witted remarks and Sydney's challenge to think about an idea from another perspective.  It will be the good natured teasing of siblings or the sound of their music filling our home. The creak of the door as they come home from school and greet me with a happy " Hi Mom!".   Goodnight hugs and kisses. Laughter as something funny happens and they burst out into a chorus of giggles. I love their laughter! 

Everyday humdrum moments. 

I remember being on the phone with Craig when he was away one time. The kids were little, I was overwhelmed and exhausted. I remember him asking how the day went and I sadly replied, "I don't remember if we laughed today, I don't think we laughed today." There are tough moments, days and seasons. If one of the kids was having a difficult time and would say "I am having a bad day." I would try to say "We are having a bad moment. It doesn't have to be a bad day!" 

There will be hard days and bad moments, but the goal is to have the good moments outnumber the bad. I have tried to teach myself and our children to get up, move past it, and see if we can redeem the next moment.

The goal is to have a collection of everyday moments.

Moments that are beautiful.

Everyday moments lived well.

The best manual I have found for accomplishing this is God's love letter to his creation. 

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Colossians 3:12 (NIV)