Coaches Wanted!!

Just over a year ago, Sydney was at a College trying out for a sports team. We were excited at the invitation she received to come and train with the team for three days. If it hadn't been for her grade 9 Coach and a Coach who had trained her at a camp one summer, we would never have thought to pursue College. Those Coaches both saw something in our kid that we didn't have the insight or training to recognize. 

The camp Coach gave of her own free time to work with Sydney in preparation for her College tryouts. She took time out of her very busy life to training Sydney and talk to her about her mental game. It was incredibly generous. Unbelievable. This support gave Sydney the courage to take a chance.

At the end of the College try-outs, the College Coach said he really wanted to work with her. He told Sydney what he saw in her.  The qualities he mentioned were the same things those previous Coaches had recognized. She is at that College; her name is on the roster, and she is being challenged in her skill and character because of people who gave their time, encouraged her, believed in her and supported her.

This last month Craig was invited to work with our son's team. He is focusing development in the areas of character and team behaviour. Quin's coach recognized that it was not enough to train together. In order to reach their potential as a team, they needed to start working on character and team attitude. Recognizing her limited time, she was incredibly grateful for Craig's willingness to support this area of training.

I am almost jealous of Craig's chance to work with these guys. They are a fantastic group of young men. As Craig has engaged them in the areas of personal values, team values and individual character they have been receptive and responded with a sincere commitment.   They have risen to the challenge. They are hungry for the input, and they are working it out, on and off the court. It has been a transformation, not yet perfect, but moving rapidly in the right direction. Craig is extremely impressed with them. He looks forward to his time with them.

We have often told our kids that their love for and participation in sport is about much more than their personal enjoyment and success. Sport is about developing and honouring the gifts God has given to them. It is about using the opportunities given to them for developing relationships, character and playing to bring joy and delight to their Maker. He is the one who wired them for this. They are His light where he puts them. Every team, a chance to love the people around them well.

What I am seeing is an incredible opportunity for Adults to bring out the best in the next generation. Some schools are scrambling for Coaches. This is a huge need. Craig and I have often considered training for Coaching as a way to give our time to the next generation in meaningful ways. 

Coaching is an excellent opportunity to guide youth in the development of their character, teamwork and mutual respect. The youth of today are ready to be called higher. They will quickly meet the expectation and ask for more. Parents are glad for the support. We all know it takes a village to raise our kids. The input to our child's life from dedicated, caring, honest adults is something many of us are glad for. 

There is a need. We, the Church, could meet it.  Imagine!!!

Grace, I didn't really get it

Have you ever been completely laid bare? You know, seen yourself for who you really are? It happened in my mid-twenties. It was a necessary part of fully understanding God's lavish grace. I grew up hearing about it. I thought I understood it.  It wasn't until I got a good look at myself, acknowledging that I was by nature sinful, my desires self-centred, my instincts self-serving that I could grasp the concept of grace completely. I saw myself honestly, without God's grace and mercy on me, I was fully capable of every sin. 

Every. Single. One.

Initially I was so disgusted by my true heart that even though I knew about grace, I tried to fix myself up. I got stuck in the trap of trying to make myself more worthy. I tried to fight my sin, have victory and show God that I was worth his time. I understood grace intellectually, but my heart struggled to receive grace's truth and freedom. 

Focusing on victory was focusing on my sin. Inevitably I failed. I  felt worse and withdrew farther from God. I was overwhelmed by how unworthy of his love I was. It became a hopeless cycle, struggle, fail, berate myself, promise myself and God that I would do better and then start from the beginning again. Over and over.  

One day, in the midst of this struggle, overwhelmed by my sinfulness and failure we had a Small Group Christmas party to go to. I did not want to go. At all! I was crushed, burdened by the futility and overwhelmed by the hopelessness of my human effort. I felt heavy with the weight of my sin and failure. I was so unworthy of God's love and I knew it to my core.

We stopped at the grocery store to pick up some party items. I went in alone, gathered my things and got into line. As I placed my items on the till, I noticed the difference between my purchases and the man I front of me. He was a homeless man. A person I had seen around town frequently. My items were all nonessential frilly party items. He was purchasing items for a meal, a small meal. Necessities.

I felt the Holy Spirit whisper to me. God asked me to pay for his items. I knew my face was splotchy from crying that day, I didn't want to cause a scene or draw attention to myself. God pressed harder on my heart. I quietly spoke, "Could I purchase your items?". He didn't seem to hear, I thought I was off the hook. The Holy Spirit nudged me again. God asked me to touch the gentleman on the shoulder and ask.  I didn't know if he might have a mental illness and be freaked out about a stranger touching him. I still didn't want to make a move that would draw attention. I wrestled with God a while.  The Holy Spirit pressed more firmly. I reached out, put my hand on his shoulder and asked if I could pay for his items. He gratefully agreed and was so appreciative. I was so moved by his response.

So much happened through that small act of obedience. At that moment my heart was full, I finally understood, more than at an intellectual level. In my sin, in my unworthiness God used me to love on another. He showed me that though I am unworthy, he doesn't see me that way. He sees me as His chosen child, forgiven through the blood of Christ. He has declared me clean. He showed me that though I am unworthy, he can work through me if I am willing to obey. As I receive his grace, I can be an agent of his grace to others. My heart finally understood.

It was a powerful moment as this gentleman expressed his appreciation, the cashier teared up, and I cried. I cried because God still wanted to work in and through me, even though I was undeserving, flawed and human.

I thought I knew God's grace. It wasn't until that moment that I recognized the real worth of the gift God offered me. I fully knew in my heart the truth of his unconditional love and fullness of his forgiveness. I understood completely that there was absolutely nothing that I could offer or bring to the table. Wretch that I am, God chose to love me.  I finally came to understand grace. 

I learned true gratitude. Understanding grace created a heart within me that overflowed with thanksgiving and love for God's mercy. It drove me to spend time in his presence, learn more about him and love him more truly.  As I focused on him, victory over sin began to happen. He honoured my hearts desire to grow in the Fruit of the Spirit. I am thankful for this, there are no words adequate to express it. 

I have been asking God about my blind spots, what character issues he wants to transform.  From my perspective, there are SO many!!! I get discouraged by how far I still need to go. There are parts of who I am that I fight and struggle with. Parts of me I just don't like. I want to know what he wants to transform. As I focus on him, I know he will be faithful and take care of it. He has surrounded me by people who love and extend grace to me in my imperfections and failings. My sin keeps me humble, reminds me of my desperate need for God and fills me with longing for heaven.

I long for the day when my motives will be truly pure. When I can love others as God loved me. It makes me think of one of our favorite quotes by C.S. Lewis from the Silver Chair:

“Sir,” said Caspian, “I've always wanted to have just one glimpse of their world. Is that wrong?”“You cannot want wrong things any more, now that you have died, my son,” said Aslan.

Heaven is going to be so incredible!

Our Ladies Bible Study is doing a study on Colossians. The teacher, Matt Chandler, had a great quote. He said, "Jesus isn't in love with some future version of you." That is what God helped me understand that day. He is reminding me of it. God does love me. Just as I am. Wow!

Flexibility...

Flexibility is a trait my husband has in spades. It is one of his many attributes that I greatly admire and value. Okay, maybe even covet. He is unflappable! He gets thrown a curve ball and he seamlessly rolls with it. From where I sit, it looks effortless. It has always amazed me. He is the embodiment of calm under pressure.

I know you think I am exaggerating because I am head over heels in love, I can't be trusted. Well, first of all, I am completely hopeless at deception and lying. Honestly, I gave it up by age eight because my Dad told me I was terrible at it and I always got caught. Second of all, 23 years of marriage keeps it real.  Thirdly, you can ask anyone who works with him. 

One of the reasons I love and admire this about Craig is that I, myself, do not have this trait. If plans change, it takes me a good while to switch tracks. It takes a great deal of intentionality for me. It is something about myself that I find frustrating.

I value flexibility because of its fruit. It presents itself along with character traits like, calmness, patience, gentleness, slow to anger, realistic expectations, carefully chosen words and peacefulness. Those are all amazing qualities! I want more of these traits in my life.

So, I did what I know to do. I asked God to teach me how to be flexible.

That's right. That is what I did!

I have loved Jesus long enough to know that if my hearts desire is to overcome my flaws and weaknesses, he will honour that. He knows if I am serious about it or not.

He knew I was serious about this.

The problem with increasing flexibility is it involves stretching. To to point of discomfort and often pain.  Growing in flexibility hurts.  It is important to be prepared for discouragement. 

God has used a number of challenges these last couple of years to give me the opportunity to work with him in growing to be flexible.  It began when my left ovary grew a cantaloupe sized cyst which threw me into emergency surgery. God was not caught off guard by this. I definitely was. There was not a lot of prep time to prepare for that one. There was; however, a lot of time to work it through post surgery. Added to an increase in free time was a major change in my recreational activity.  I refuel by getting out of the house and playing with my family. It is life giving to me. It is an essential, non-negotiable necessity. Surgery took all that away. My favourite being, water skiing and water sports with my family. It was a real challenge for me to roll with.

I struggled a lot working that out.

When I was given the go ahead to exercise, I was so excited!!  This last February, eleven months after surgery, I partially tore my rotator cuff when snowshoeing. Then re-injured it in June. My family doctor took my care to a new level which warned me it was more serious than I wanted it to be. Again, right in time for water ski season! Seriously!! 

I ended up sitting on the dock all summer.  I did my best to roll with it, I think I am getting better at it. 

At a follow up visit, I  cornered my GP and he admitted that I would most likely need surgery. He was very reluctant in saying it. When he broke the news to me he said "You are handling this really well. Most people would be crying by now!" 

I took that as a big compliment! A sign of growth :) I am learning. I am getting flexible! I am learning how to roll with it! I am not perfect yet. When I went home to tell Craig I cried. Just a little though. Honest, I wasn't sobbing or anything :)

I just saw a surgeon and it looks like surgery is in my near future. If that happens, it is 3 months off work at least, another 3 of rehab. With the proposed timeline, another summer on the dock....

Ugh! 

I am learning to take it day by day. I am learning to let go of my expectations. One of the most beautiful truths about God is that if we invite him into our lives, he gives us the chance to not waste our pain. If we cooperate with him, he makes beauty out of ashes. He redeems difficult circumstances by revealing more of who he is through them. He can help us strengthen our weaknesses through trials, pain and stretching circumstances. 

I am not looking forward to what is ahead. I am kind of dreading it honestly. I have been told by a few professionals my arm will be immobilized for a few weeks. I don't even know how to do immobilized!  While I am not excited about it, I am learning to roll with it. I have grown in gratitude. Learned to focus on the good things and let go of my expectations. I am looking forward to knowing God more and becoming more like him! In the end, I know the hard time will be worth it.

The Power of Prayer and a Kept Promise

I was sitting in a waiting room this week, across from me was a little girl. She was holding her forearm very protectively. She looked like an active, busy child, yet there she sat, docile. She looked to be the same age our daughter had been when she broke her forearm. I asked the little girl what had happened and how old she was. Sure enough, she was nine, the same age our girl was when she got hurt.

Where we live, it warms up around Easter and our family is often eager for a change in recreational activity. This particular Saturday I was at a practice while Craig was home with the kids.  He was busy working on something while the kids were dragging out their bikes and roller blades. Sydney couldn't find her safety gear & decided she would be okay without it. This decision was made with complete disregard for the family rule. Honestly, not something she would normally do.

In the middle of the practice, someone came to tell me Craig was at ER with Sydney. I honestly don't remember who it was that said this. I just remember the driving need to be with my daughter.  I excused myself from practice, checked in with my boys, picked a few things up and went to the hospital. There Craig sat with Sydney; she was lying on a gurney holding her arm rather gingerly. 

It was a displaced fracture.  The medical team was waiting for a Respiratory Specialist and other essential staff to come. They gave Sydney a drug that would prevent her from remembering what happened but, unfortunately, would not ease the pain. She begged me not to leave her. After a little while, she was getting silly as the drug took effect. At that point, the medical team was assembling and getting things in order. A friend who worked the ER stopped by and said " Lisa, you don't want to be here for this. She won't remember. Come with me." I couldn't leave, I told him "I just promised her I wouldn't leave. I have to stay." He shook his head at me, " You really, really, don't want to be here, she won't remember. You don't want to see this. She isn't going to remember anything." I told him I couldn't break my promise, I needed to stay. I would know I had broken my promise, and I couldn't live with that.

The respiratory specialist was a mom, she stood next to me keeping watch over her equipment and my girl.  I curled up by Sydney, wrapped my arms around her and began to pray softly into her ear. I think what my friend meant was, you don't want to hear this. This horrid, moaning whimper escaped from my little Peanut as two full-grown men began to pull on her forearm. They were struggling to get it into place and called a third large Doctor to help them get the needed traction. My stomach felt sick as I listened to her moan. I continued to whisper prayer into her ear. They finally finished, and mercifully her cries ended. The respiratory nurse put her hand on my back and said " I am glad you could stay with her. I can't believe you aren't falling apart, I can't help crying!" At that point, tears sprang into my eyes. The team disbanded, and my friend who had stayed said "You did good, I told you that you didn't want to be here." He gave me a hug and went on to work. 

The meds slowly wore off, they gave her a cast and eventually we got home.  A few days later we were sitting in the living room reading, and Sydney piped up " You stayed with me, Mom."

I confirmed that I had. "I could hear you praying in my ear. Thanks for staying Mom."  I told her that she couldn't remember, she had been given meds that would make her not remember. " I remember Mom, you were praying in my ear." As we talked about it we concluded that it was something God made happen to give her comfort in a difficult time.

I was amazed. How could she remember? I asked her questions about other things that happened while she was under the influence. Not one other detail could she remember. In the months that followed, every once in a while she would mention how she could hear those prayers. Every time I marveled at what an Almighty God we have. It showed me that the God of all Comfort is bigger than our fancy medicines. He allowed it to block her memory of the pain but overpowered it so that she could experience his presence and comfort through the prayers of her Mom. Prayers whispered in her ear. What an incredible and powerful gift prayer is. What a Mighty God. 

Who Is My Neighbor?

I have been reading the articles in the news about the Syrian refugee's. I have been scrolling through Facebook to see what is grabbing the attention of people. For over a year I have been praying about and working through my own attitude and thoughts on this issue. 

I cannot ignore the teaching of Jesus. He tells me to love my neighbor. Who is my neighbor? In this "global society", everyone! He tells me to love that neighbor as I want to be loved. hard words. If I call Jesus "My Lord" I am called to give what I have to another in need. The cloak off my back. More than that, I am called to love and pray for my enemy.  For me, as a believer, one group who I think fit into that category, those who I would consider enemies are those who kill my brothers and sisters. I am to pray for them. I am to try and love them...

I know. Our human nature is confused by this. Out inner spirit, the part still struggling to become holy cries against it.

Jesus warned his disciples that they would be persecuted. He told them that the ones who would kill them would believe that they were doing a service to God.

Sounds familiar doesn't it.

Jesus finishes in that chapter saying, "I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. In the world you have trouble and suffering, but take courage—I have conquered the world.”  Fear is not to be my response. Peace is.  In this chapter he mentions that the Holy Spirit will be given to guide in truth.

I need to be at peace. I need to seek the Spirits guidance.

If I had been displaced from my home because of violence and my beliefs, I would hope another Country would give me the chance of a new home. I believe this is the right action. I know there are processes that need to be followed. I believe in those processes. I know we may let some zealots into our country. No system is perfect. That is happening anyway. We can't avoid it. We cannot avoid what is coming. We are to be wise, we are to be watchful, we are to love. I can choose to love as Jesus did. That is what I am called to, to love my neighbor and meet what needs I can. I am called to show love to my enemy and show what love I can.

What My Toddlers Taught Me

Toddlers are bubbling with energy and curiosity. It is infectious if you let yourself get swept up in the whirlwind of it. Whirlwind, doen't that perfectly describe toddlers?!?

They have a way of grabbing onto life and living it fully! It is a fascinating stage of development. One of my favourites.
How many favourite stages am I allowed??

I loved parenting the toddler years. Don't get me wrong, it was exhausting, overwhelming and loaded with fears that I was doing it all wrong and scarring my precious littles. I was able to enjoy it in spite of the chaos that exists. Who thought it was a good idea that humans this small should have their own ideas??? It is what makes them fun though!

Here is a little of what I learned from my toddlers:


1. Live in the moment. We have fancy words like mindfulness now. No matter what you call it, enjoy where you are, who you are with and what you are doing. If you have forgotten how, hang out with a toddler for a while.

2. Believe the best about others. If you know a toddler, they are usually quick to label someone a friend or nice. I love that they default to believe the best about others. It is beautiful. If evidence arises to contradict this is presupposition it is reevaluated. Otherwise, this is the assumption they operate under, not a bad way to take on the world!



3. Embrace curiosity! This is one of my favourite traits of toddlers, everything is a mystery to be discovered. Feed your mind, keep learning and discovering!

4. Take time to enjoy the wonder of it all. It doesn't matter if there is a schedule or if there is some- where to be, if something wondrous is discovered or experienced, a toddler always has time to enjoy it. Fully!!

5. Smile and move along! It doesn't matter if they fall and smack their face or spill something all over themselves. If you smile, they smile back, pick themselves up and keep going. When does that change? Why do we have to relearn how to move on from a mistake or a bump?

6. Keep moving until someone puts you to bed or you fall asleep spontaneously. Those little legs and hands never stop moving, they are busy, busy, busy. They don't need to train to do a marathon, everyday is a marathon!

7. Be friendly. I love how toddlers are enthusiastic to greet people. I love it when I am grocery shopping and a little one says hello to me. Why do we stop saying hello to people?

8. Play! It really is a great stress reliever! It doesn't have to be fancy, the kitchen pots and pans will do :)

9. Stand up for yourself. Okay, we probably don't want to scream when someone takes something of ours or hit the offender. Consider this though, it is rare that a toddler will accept injustice.  It is alright to respectfully let it be known that we do not appreciate being treated unfairly or poorly.

10. Faith. Our children believed God could move mountains, heal the sick, be their protector and defender. It was simple to them and they believed passionately.  As they have grown they have had to intellectually explore. They have tested truth and deepened their faith. They still believe God can move mountains and heal the sick, but at some point we all struggle. We are afraid to ask God in case he says "no" or "not yet". Toddlers get that answer and it doesn't shake their faith.  At some point we have to continued to hold onto that first initial step of faith. Believe.

Needing More: Thoughts on Ashley Madison

So, scrolling through Facebook last week a good friend had posted this article. It has haunted me. I have been late in my post because I was mulling. To sum it up, after 33 million Ashley Madison accounts were leaked, Avid Life Media reported the following week that hundreds of thousands of new accounts started. HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS! People know the risk of being exposed and yet hundreds of thousands signed up to arrange "discreet" affairs to cheat on the one they are already with. The fear of being caught must add to the thrill of infidelity. 

I have to admit, I don't get it. When I heard about the exposure of the 33 million, I felt sad. So many people affected, devastated by hurtful choices. I was sad at people's willingness to condemn and point fingers. It is all just, UGH!

Then I read this article and all I could think was " What are people thinking?!" Some people took their lives as a result of being outed, the pain of many was exposed, and now Hundreds and Thousands are signing up, for that? What is happening? Does no one stop to think of the consequences? 

We have everything! Seriously. We lack nothing. We have some notion that we deserve what we want with no thought for anyone else? Why are we so dissatisfied with life? Why do we seek another thrill? Is our sexual appetite so insatiable that fear of discovery and evidence that it can happen is not enough to expose the insanity?

All I can think is that people are not satisfied because they have not found what they are lacking. " I still haven't found what I'm looking for" by U2 has been playing in my mind. Over and over.

As I thought about this, I wondered do I recognize this behaviour as the conduct of desperate people who are in need of more? Do I see this behaviour as the choices made by people who are longing for something out of life and not finding it? Do I recognize the desperate need of souls that were made for more?  Do I see people who are in need of an anchor that holds fast in a world that is tossed around by longing, emptiness and unreliable feelings? Do I feel compelled to have compassion? Where does this leave me as one who knows the one who offers fullness of life? 

The heartbreak I have felt over this has burdened me. I feel compelled to be bolder. I see so many people being pushed and pulled by the tides of the world. I know an Anchor. One who can give steadfastness, purpose and worth. I want to share that hope with others.