Help I'm a Mom: Learning To Parent Young Adults

Are you raising Young Adults? Will you be one day?  I always thought that I was a Preschool to Primary age grade person. I have been wonderfully surprised at how fun every age has been. More often that naught I am beyond my depth and wondering what the heck I am doing!

It is like a foggy path where only what around you is known and in focus.

Every age has its' challenges and delights.

We are new to the Young Adult stage of parenting. We have a 20-year old, almost 18 and soon to be 17-year-old age range at the moment. Love them to pieces (most of the time!)

This is such a weird stage of life.

I cannot wait to have my husband all to myself again, yet, I am nostalgic about all the memories and stages.

I love my young adults but I long for the times when they were little.

I grieve them leaving and think it is best that they test their independence and fly.

I am completely confused and mixed up!

This is some of what I am learning. did you get that? Currently learning, I clearly have a long, long way to go!!

1. Start letting them test their independence early. while in your home, make them make their choices without your input. How to spend their spending money, how to manage their time and commitments. how to deal with certain situations at school, sports and work are challenges that they are ready for in their mid to late teens. Practicing this prepares them and teaches valuable lessons while they are still in your watchful and loving care.
2. When they ask your opinion, turn it back on them with a question, get them to explore it more. We have always encouraged our children to trust their 'inside voice' or 'gut'. This is often the Holy Spirit talking to them. They have got to learn to be in tune with that voice and listen to it. It can mean the difference between life and death at times. I really did not like it when my own parents did this. Sometimes I sincerely wanted their advice. Guess what,  they actually knew what they were doing!!!
3. It is possible to be supportive without saving them. I actually have more fun watching how they approach a situation. I love to see how they work it out, think it through and act. It is really fascinating! Quite enlightening!
4. It is a load of fun watching God direct their steps. I have a personal history with God specific events I can tell you about that have proven to me He is faithful, good, trustworthy and active. They are just learning that in new, real and personal ways. God is doing this with one of our precious ones right now. It is awesome! What a ride!!!
5. Pray like you never have before that God will put good mentors and reliable people in their path to encourage, disciple, teach and stretch them. Other adults often have the freedom to speak things we as parents would not. I am speechless with gratitude for the men and women God used in our children's lives to be a significant influence. What a gift they are!
6. Don't fret so much! Your child has picked up more from your life, values and teaching than you think they have.  We have had the incredible pleasure of building friendships with many young adults over the last 7-8 years and this is a reoccurring theme that has been a delightful surprise.
7. They are smarter than you think! 
8. Even when they make mistakes, God is big enough to turn it around!

I am loving this stage and the way it is challenging me to be flexible and change the way I interact with my children. 

It is a good exercise in trusting God with what is extremely precious to me. It is teaching me in a new way to think and listen more before I speak. I have a long way to go. But, I think if I stay in tune with the Holy Spirit, He can use this parenting stage to file down my rough edges and shape me more into His likeness.

I do not know what the future holds

But I cannot wait to see what God is going to do!!