Help I'm A Mom: How Parenting Has Ruined My Self-Esteem

Are you a parent? Do you have any self-esteem left? Are you thinking about becoming a parent?  How much do you value your self-esteem? Writing just cannot capture humorous tone!!

Self-Esteem is defined:

1. A realistic respect for or favorable impression of oneself; self-respect.
2. An inordinately or exaggeratedly favorable impression of oneself.

I don't know about you, but parenting has definitely increased a realistic view of myself. That view is not necessarily favorable. Parenting has not increased my respect for myself. I cannot say that after 20 years of parenting I have an exaggeratedly favorable impression of myself.   

All in all; parenting has completely ruined my self-esteem.

Let me explain.

Parenting has increased my realistic sense of self, but not always a favorable view of self. Watching a toddler emulate my language or behavior, has been one of the most sobering experiences of my life. Having my school age child recognize the inconsistencies of my life has been intensely humbling. 

My kids see the real me. Every day they are firsthand witnesses to my good moments and bad moments. When I have seen "ugly me" coming back in their behavior, words or attitudes, it has been a gut-wrenching glimpse at the reality of my true self.

Parenting may have ruined my self-esteem, but it has made me humble. I have a more realistic view of myself.

I remember leaving the hospital after our first born's birth, an increasing sense of alarm rising in my soul.  "How can they let us walk out of here with this precious little??? Don't they know I haven't got a clue how to look after this sweet innocent life???"

I cannot even count how many times in raising our children Craig and I have felt out of our depth. How many times have we looked at each other bewildered?  "What do we do???" has been spoken way more than "I know how to handle this!".  This repeated experience of not knowing what I should do has not increased my sense of self-respect, that's for sure!!

Parenting has caused us to cling to and depend on God in every way.

Parenting may have ruined my self-esteem, but it increased my reliance on God.

The practice has not made us perfect. With the first child, we thought, "We will figure it out. With the second, "We will improve our skills."  By the third...you would think that by the third child we would be ready to teach courses, write books. We should be experts by now, right? I still read, ask, investigate, listen to podcasts.  

Yeah, all experience and practice have taught us is that there is still lots to be learned. This has definitely challenged the development of an inordinately or exaggeratedly favorable impression of myself!

Parenting may have ruined my self-esteem, but it has taught me to listen, be slow to speak or offer advice. It has taught me to me a lifelong learner. 

I would not change a thing. I am glad for my children. I am glad for these lessons.