Have You Given Up On Church?

I found myself in the old church building that I grew up in this week. It is across the street from the new one we built and moved into in 1991.

My son was participating in the music festival. Singing. It was beautiful to observe, he did a great job, and I am one proud Mama!

I looked over to where my family used to sit. When I was little, we sat near the back, I was allowed to lay my head on my Dad's leg, and he would play with my hair and draw his finger around my ear and nose. I would listen to the flawless 4 part harmony of our congregation singing. I loved to sit between my parents and let their voices fill my ears,  my father's bass voice rich and warm and my Mom switching between soprano and alto as she pleased. It was a very musical church. Part of me is sad my children do not have those memories. They have not been part of that exquisite vocal experience. They never learned to pick out Bill Voth's marvelous base or the voices of countless other talented singers.

I remember wrapping my arms around a leg in the foyer and looking up to see Mr. Jake Esau smiling down at me. So many suits, all the same color, all the shoes the same! How was a kid supposed to find her Dad when she was only knee high to a grasshopper!?!

As my sister and I got older our family moved up the pews, the closer to the front we got the better behaved we had to be. All of a sudden I was too old to lay down on my Dad's leg.  I had to sit up, listen, sing. We went back to evening church every Sunday night, Pioneer Girls midweek, Children's choir. When we got older Youth Group on Tuesday nights, adult choir on Wednesday.

I remember participating in music festivals, feeling glad that I could play in a building that felt like home. Because it was home.

We were a family. I felt safe there and knew these people cared about my family and me. It wasn't a perfect family. No family is. But I felt a part of it, welcomed & loved.

After all this time I sat there in that hard pew, warm, fond memories and feelings welling up in me.

You may have given up on "church." In reality, you have given up on your family. It isn't the building, it is the people. You have given up on your people. People can make terrible family members. People are broken, messy and flawed. That means the church can be too.

You may think that I don't know the half of it. How can a girl who felt loved, welcomed and part of it understand??

Some of my deepest pain has come from the church. From God's people.

God's people can wound each other terribly. Wounds so deep that they change us forever.

I thought the pain I experienced would crush me. I didn't know if I could get through it let alone past it. I thought the church would never feel like family again. I wanted out. I wanted to run as far as I could and never look back. I thought I could never trust God's people again. Even when I wanted to run I couldn't.  I begged God to let us go.

He wouldn't let us go.

You see as broken as the church is, she is the treasure of God. Deeply loved. Close to his heart.

God healed my wounds. He was patient as I learned to function in the family again. He used the church family to help heal me, and he used them to help me find my place in it again. He loves his family and because of that so do I.

I am more connected now. Church is richer now. God turned the ashes of my pain to beauty again in the context of the community that I experienced pain in.

We, followers of Jesus, are on a journey of being made holy by the Spirit. We may have expectations, expressed or unexpressed which make us more vulnerable. Because we choose to live life together, we are open to hurting one another. We can take the time to heal, but to walk with God, we need to walk with his people. We mature one another into the fullness of Christ.

Make no mistake, we are God's family. We are commanded to not give up meeting together. We are incomplete, unable to function properly without one another.

We often don't get it right, I am sorry!

We hurt each other. I am so, so very sorry!!

Please don't give up on us.

God hasn't.

Even though we are broken, flawed people, there is beauty, authenticity and honest journeying of life that can happen together. We do not get it all right, but we do not get it all wrong either.

I believe God is doing a new thing. It may look different, significantly different. We cannot live out biblical community without one another. We cannot give up on each other! There is no support for that in Scripture. I know you do not want to hear that, but if you read through the New Testament and what it says to believers, there is no doubt we are meant to live in a community. It may not look like the North American Church, But it is definitely not life without one another.

We need to listen to the Holy Spirit together. We need to earnestly love one another. We need to live out compassion, sympathy, and tender-heartedness toward one another. We would be better off with you. We would have a better chance of getting it right if you were with us. If you could add your voice, gifting, and presence.

We are incomplete without you.

Please help us help you find your way home.