When Your Morning Coffee Is Not Enough...

A few posts back, I wrote about hitting the reset button when we find ourselves in a funk. What happens when the reset doesn't work?

What happens when enjoying your morning coffee in your favorite spot is not enough to get you ready for your day?

What happens when frustration, exhaustion and lack of motivation persist?

Do you find yourself hermiting ( it's a thing! )

Are you struggling to find joy?

If any of this sounds familiar, you are either experiencing burnout or have encountered it at some point in your life.

I remember struggling with this now and then as a stay at home Mom. I wondered what was wrong with me!?! I have delt with it now and then as a working Mom too.

It took me a while to accept that parenting is hard. Really hard! On its own or coupled with work, volunteering, or whatever else, the grind can wear us down sometimes.

Parenting on its own is more than a full-time job. It demands the best of us. Always!

Our screw-ups are worse because they directly impact those we love most. This increases stress as we imagine all the therapy our children will need to process all of our flaws and mistakes. Compounded by our own (often unrealistic) expectations, it can amount to an incredible burden.

Life is hard.  Kids or no kids. It can feel relentless sometimes.

And we wonder why we might struggle with burnout now and then!?!

OK. So what can be done about it?

Consider scheduling some time to evaluate where you are at. Great! Right now works for me too!

What is draining the life out of your soul?

What is within your control to change?

What is outside of your ability to change but can benefit from a new mindset?

I usually need to write these things out. It makes them real, forces me to deal with them.

Here are some of the things I have learned to do in order to cope with burnout.

1. What can I ask for help with? I am SO bad at this.  Honestly, I wish I could tell you that over the last 20 years I have become a rock star in this area. I haven't. Family and friends are eager to support us, even if we do not recognize it. Often they can see us struggling and are wanting to help. They are just afraid of stepping on our toes. Just ask, okay?? I will too. For real!
2. What do I just need to let go of? Does everything I am doing have to be done? Am I burying myself under the weight of high expectations that I need to adjust or toss out the window? A relationship that is draining or damaging me? Identify it, get rid of it.
3. Get real with a friend. Find someone who can listen and avoid the urge to fix your situation. You know what you need to do, sometimes you just need space to verbally get it out and have a shoulder to cry on, someone to pray with.
4. Get out! Hire a babysitter so you can go out with another couple on a double date, schedule a girls night/ guys night. Laughter is good medicine for the soul. It happens effortlessly in a group and reconnects us. Throw in a few play dates and you will find your soul recovering. If possible, book a holiday, the change in routine can infuse your soul with life again. It's a must!
5. Self-care. Yup, it always comes back to this. It is often the first thing to slip quietly into Neverland.  Accountability with a friend in this area helps it stick.  We cannot endlessly give if we are not filling up somewhere. Are you getting some alone time? Exercise? Reading? Maybe consider trading an afternoon every week with a friend. One week they take your kids so you get the afternoon off, the next week you take her kids so she gets the afternoon off. That time is for you to engage in an activity you love. A hobby, a quiet afternoon reading at Starbucks. Whatever! Guard that time ruthlessly!
6. New perspective. What tasks are non-negotiable tasks that could benefit from a new mentality? For me, cooking sometimes feels like torture. An endlessly demanding, life sucking task. Making sure there is enough food in the house for three athletic kids can be straight up exhausting!! Remembering that healthy food is a gift and a way to love my family helps. Scheduling enough time to cook, engaging my family in preparation and trying new recipes (thank you Pinterest!) keeps it fun. Cooking double and freezing leftovers for another night helps maximize my effort. Sitting down to enjoy the meal together and connect with each other gives cooking increased purpose. What takes is draining the life out of you? How can you creatively increase your enjoyment of that task?
7. Abide. Nothing creates a dry, desert soul like disconnection from God. We were made to abide, dwell in, encamp, and remain in our Maker. A Spiritual retreat, a day of prayer or practicing His presence in new ways are a few activities that help me re-engage with God.

What helps you recover from burnout?