A Place

Have you ever wondered how Joseph felt? What would it be like to hear that your fiance was suddenly pregnant and you had nothing to do with it? In fact, she pleaded with you to believe her innocence? What would he have thought when she claimed that an Angel had told her she carried the Messiah, that she was innocent of anything impure?  How would you handle it?

The turmoil Joseph experienced must have been excruciating.  From scripture, he seems like a very tenderhearted man. Wanting to spare Mary shame, he wanted to handle it all quietly. Then he got a visit. Face to face with an Angel, I cannot even grasp what that would have been like.

Joseph woke from his vision with new understanding and a choice. There was a place for him in this magnificent plan. He had a choice to make, would he take that place?  Josephs actions speak loudly.

He did as he was commanded.

Joseph refrained from intimate relations with Mary until the child was born. When the baby was born they named him Jesus just as the Angel had told him to.

How did he feel when he held this new baby?

What was spinning through his mind as the little hand grasped his finger?

He was supposed to be a Father to this baby, who in turn was to become his Redeemer?

This helpless babe was to become the Savior of the world.

I am sure Joseph was full of questions and doubt. Could he love this child as his own? How does one parent God? How is it possible that this baby would grow up to reconcile people to God? Was that Angel a figment of his imagination?

You may wonder the same things. It may be difficult to grasp that this could be true. It might be hard to imagine that Jesus is anything more that a story.

Scripture meets more of the Literary requirements than any other document, it is reliable. Eyewitness accounts were written, letters circulated while eyewitnesses were still alive. Over 500 eyewitnesses. Not one contradicted what was written about Jesus. I can't see that many people making up the same story and sticking to it if it wasn't real.

The Miracle of Christmas, the miracle of Christ is powerful. Powerful enough that a man, who by law should have separated from his seemingly unfaithful fiance kept his promise and married her. Joseph claimed Jesus as his own, loved him and raised him. 

That first night, as Joseph held that little baby, he didn't know what lay ahead. He wasn't given a detailed timeline or manual of how it was all going to unfold. He accepted it, lived it and took his place, the one prepared for him. If you have taken your place, I pray that this Christmas, the miracle reignites your passion for the Good News we have been entrusted with.

If you do not believe or are struggling to believe, are you ready to do some solid investigation? Do you need to take an action step like Joseph? Are you ready to take your place?

I Need Christmas!

There is nothing like driving during the Christmas season, in parking lots, while you have PMS to remind you that you need a Savior...

It is why I need Christmas.

There is nothing like the frustration of the shoes on the floor instead of the shoe rack, bags lying around rather than on their hooks hanging neatly out of the way, or clutter building up through the week.  Let's not even mention the state of the bathroom!!!

Sure, I can rationalize my frustration. "I have only been asking 5 days a week, for the last 20 years that the backpacks get hung on their hooks." Who wouldn't be frustrated?

Yeah, I have asked every day for the last 2 decades that shoes be put on the rack, who would blame me for losing my mind over this. Am I right!?! Maybe I have the right to snap at my kids rather than reminding them in love to do something they should know how to do.

While it might be understandable, it doesn't make it right. I may want to rationalize my temptation to have a tantrum, That immediate frustration is startling sometimes. It reminds me of my ugly sinful nature, I am constantly in battle with.

When I lose it, I could minimize it and say "you win some, you lose some."

Somehow, that just doesn't sit right.

If I am really wanting to grow spiritually and reflect Christ in my life.  That kind of approach will only hold me back.  It tries to make what is wrong seem less wrong. I don't see God ever do that in scripture.  That should tell me there is something wrong with that approach.

I need Christmas. The season is an opportunity to reflect on the lengths to which God went to save me.

I need to be saved from myself, I want to be freed from my sinful nature. I cannot achieve victory over it on my own.

I need Christmas.

The season reminds me of all that Jesus gave up. He had a face to face relationship with God. Perfect union and harmony. Jesus released this, let go of all his powers, became fully human and submitted to the Father.Christmas to remind me of this.

In light of all that, I cannot rationalize my sin. It cost too much. Christmas keeps me from minimizing the sin that made all that he did necessary.

It started in the manger and leads to the cross.

I need Christmas because I need a Savior.

Advent: Peace

I started wrestling with the topic of Peace at the beginning of the week. Knowing Peace was what I was supposed to write about this week and fitting with this Sunday as it is the first Sunday of Advent. That evening I received a difficult text from a beloved friend. Medical tests for one of their dear family members came back with positive markers for health issues no one wants...

As they wrestle with the unknowns and the horrendous wait to know more, I am supposed to write about peace?

Won't it sound trite?

Will they feel judged if they are struggling to find peace?

How do you find peace in the midst of such turmoil? Is it possible?

How dare I talk about peace?!?

In the Christmas season, peace is so relevant. God sent his Son to reconcile us to God and bring peace.  In paying the price for our sin, our faith in Jesus brings us into peace with God.

We live in a world of chaos, wars, rumors of wars. Today, more people enslaved than ever before. Astounding inequity between those who have and have not. Horrible acts of violence occur.

 How can we experience peace in the midst of the pain, suffering, and uncertainty?

I feel at a loss.

Are you seeking peace?

Is your mind burdened, wrestless, unfocused?

Could your choices be keeping you from peace?

Are you seeking unity with those around you?

Peace is the third characteristic listed in the fruit of the Spirit. Love, joy, then peace.

The peace we find in God is incomparable and indescribable to anything else. Similar to joy, it can transcend circumstances. It comes from the Lord and is the fruit of a life lived according to God's best for us. We are called to live in peace with one another as the family of God. Peace is the result of obeying God and loving others as ourselves.

My prayer for you this Christmas Season,
and always

no matter your circumstance:

The Fruit of the Spirit:Joy

How do you define joy? Have you struggled to find a suitable definition? Has it been difficult to define what characterizes joy and creates it?  Have you been searching for it?

I have often struggled to define joy in a manner that covers its depth and breadth.  It is the second fruit mentioned in the passage on the Fruit of the Spirit that we have begun working through. Love is the first characteristic listed  All these qualities join together to define the fruit produced by the Holy Spirit in the life of a maturing believer.

Joy is perhaps one of the toughest to define. I liked this definition: It is a settled state of contentment, confidence, and hope. Joy is something that is deep within and doesn't leave quickly.

This explanation iis the closest I can get to a real definition of joy. It still struggles to fully capture what the believers’ experience of joy is. If fails to help us grasp what joy accomplishes in the life of someone who puts their hope in Jesus.

Joy is completely uninfluenced by circumstances. Whether life deals you good or bad situations, joy is not impacted when we keep our focus where it belongs.

Where does joy come from?

1. The Lord.

Knowing God creates joy. Of the 88 times Joy is mentioned in the Old Testament, 55 of them occur in the Psalms. As we learn who God is, we find joy in Him.  

When God heard my prayers and answered me, I learned to know him as the one who hears me. As I have experienced him shelter and guard me, I have come to know him as My Rock and Fortress. When I was exposed to the fullness of my sinfulness and saw His holiness and beauty in contrast to my sin, I found the inexpressible joy that my Savior has freed me from what binds me and offered to create his image of holiness in me. 

What joy is this?!? 

A clear understanding of God creates joy in our lives. For this reason, it is important to grow in a proper knowledge of who God is.

Psalm 16:11, Psalm 59:16, Romans 15:13

2. Scripture.

The Bible is God’s love letter to creation. Through it, He shows us who he is and what his best for us is. Scripture it is referred to as the law of the Lord. As scripture reveals truth to us, it becomes a source of joy. It makes clear what we were designed for, as we find our purpose and live in it, our joy increases. When I learn to love others as I love myself, joy increases. As I learn how to say no to my sinful nature and yes to Gods plan, I experience freedom and joy increases.

Psalm 119:111

I have inherited Your testimonies forever, For they are the joy of my heart.

Paul recognizes the war he fights with the sinful nature and his desire to do good. He states that he joyfully concurs with the law of God in his innermost being. 

3. Spiritual growth

In James, we are encouraged to consider it all joy when we face trials because the testing of our faith produces endurance. Endurance develops our faith to perfection so we may be complete and lacking nothing. As we remain in God and he bears this fruit in our lives, there is joy in the victory we experience. I struggled with anger, and as I clung to God and hoped in him for freedom, he started to change me. My children were able to see the transformation and witness the power of God demonstrated in my weakness. There are no words for the joy that comes from overcoming through the power of Christ.

4. The Spiritual growth of our Spiritual Family

Paul repeatedly expresses great joy at the response to God that he sees in those he shared the Good News of Christ with. Over and over in the letters he writes what a comfort and joy this is to him and those with him.

One of the greatest joys of having the privilege of serving in the same church over 20 years has been the opportunity to see God’s work in the lives of our Brothers and Sisters. The length of time we have been around has enabled us to experience the deep joy of seeing people dedicate their life to the pursuit Jesus. Witnessing transformation in their lives is a deep source of encouragement and joy to us.

Philippians 1:4-6, Acts 15:3

5. The Hope we have.

This earth is our struggle for a time. The day will come when we get to enjoy the eternity of heaven.  God with us. He, being the source of all infinite joy, love, goodness, holiness and everything we long for.  Things that we cannot see, hear or imagine are being prepared for us. He will wipe every tear from our eyes; there will be no more death or mourning, crying or pain. All that is wrong with this world will be made right.  This is where our hope is, this is why in the midst of chaos and pain we can still experience joy, because in a little while we will see Jesus come and make all things new.

1 Cor 2:9, Colossians 1:9-12, Hebrews 10:34, 1 Peter 1:8, Romans 8:18

When we keep our eyes on God, in his word and what he is doing, joy is the result. Deep abiding joy.

Help I'm a Mom: No Black Sheep

Have you ever felt like the Black Sheep? No matter what you do, you can't just go with it, you need to challenge or fight? It is you against the world? Were your siblings the good ones?

Do you have a sibling who no matter the consequence had to go against the flow?  Do you know some one who has an innate need to fight the system? Were you the good one?

We were listening to a preacher, he talked about "good kids" in a family and immediately one of my children jokingly tapped the others on the arm.  It was wrapped in a smile and light-hearted on the surface. My heart hurt as I wondered to myself if that child felt like the "bad kid" a "black sheep". Does my deeply loved, adored child really feel like a bad kid? How have I failed?!?

A Warrior child is most at risk of the label. They may take on this black sheep mantle for a few reasons.

1. They recognize that they struggle to obey which results in family conflicts and can be confused about why it is so hard for them. 
2. They see their siblings obeying easily and feel bad because they struggle with that. 
3. Their siblings are often confused by their need to fight and wonder why their Warrior sibling can't just do what needs to be done. Frustration and disapproval can be communicated through words and body language.
4. A Warrior child sees less conflict in other family relationships and concluded they are bad for fighting. 
5. Things can be expressed during conflict that a Warrior child can misinterpret to mean they are bad.

Kid's naturally make comparisons even if we as parents don't. Even in spite of our discouragement of such behaviour, our Warrior child struggles to not compare themself to their siblings.

I talked to our child after that sermon to ask if they identify the self as the "bad kid".  They admitted though their behaviour was joking, there is a piece of them that feels that way. In spite of our affirmation, expressed love and acceptance, the fact that they need to fight and struggle to obey leaves them feeling bad.

We have tried so hard to assure our children that their differences are strengths, cherished and that we delight in them. We have tried to express love and unconditional acceptance, yet our child still felt like the black sheep. I assured our child again that we do not think of them as the bad kid. I expressed our joy and pride in who they were. Every part of them is treasured by us.

We have tried to avoid this self labeling a few ways

1. Our love for them is unconditional, we do not withdraw love because of behavior.
2. We affirm their strengths.
3. We try to help them understand that conflict isn't bad.
4. We are committed to fighting fair and check that our behaviour to others is in line with how we want to be treated.
5. We encourage the sibling to celebrate and value their differences and have grace on one another's weaknesses.
6. There are no bad kids, no black sheep, in this family. They are all made in the image of God and declared good.

Our Warrior has seen that aspect of their personality as bad, wrong. They have wished it wasn't part of them. While it can be challenging to guide, we love this part of our child. They are courageous, sure of their convictions, a leader and amazing. We have tried to affirm the Warrior in them, acknowledging that it is a piece of God's image.

I have prayed long and hard for God to change this child's view of this part of their character.  One day God asked me to start to pray a song over this child.  Right there in the lyrics was one of the answers to my hearts-cry for my child.

I’ve tried to win this war I confess
My hands are weary I need Your rest
Mighty Warrior, King of the fight
No matter what I face, You’re by my side

One day as we were driving together the Spirit nudged me to tell this child that God had called me to pray this song over them. That for months I had been praying this. I mentioned that the lyrics were Gods message. That God delighted in their Warrior heart because he is a Warrior. They don't need to fight on their own, He is with them in it.

I felt the Holy Spirit fill the car, my child's heart quieted and opened to hear. God spoke love, acceptance and healing into their heart and I got to witness it. It was one of the most beautiful moments I have had the delight of witnessing.

If you are a Warrior child, you are not a black sheep, you are a champion in training, made in the image of The Champion.

If you have a sibling who is a Warrior, guard yourself against resentment and frustration.  Ask God to help you see them as God sees them, try to be lavish with love, acceptance and grace as you desire to be treated in your areas of struggle.

If you are raising a Warrior, delight in their strength, will and tenacity. While they seem so confident, they often need a double dose of  encouragement, love and acceptance. God loves that part of your child and wants it affirmed, guided and cultivated. He has trusted you with that incredible task and will equip you for it.

More Than Comfort

When you think of comfort. what images arise?

I think of my big comfy chair bathed in sunlight.

How do you respond to situations that push you beyond what you are comfortable with? What is your response to discomfort?

I was listening to a sermon by a favorite speaker/author, Bob Goff. He is hilarious but poignantly inserts deep truths.  One of the many truths that caused me to reflect from this latest sermon was "Comfortable people don't need God."

It made me wonder...

In what ways do I need to challenge my comfort? How is comfort undermining God's place in my life? In what ways am I relying on myself instead of God because life is comfortable?

We know how it works, life is good and we are going along, we talk to God a little less, read our bibles infrequently, all of a sudden we are cruising along ignoring him.

Then something doesn't go our way and we need him again. We pray more, dive into the Word and we are clinging to God again.

How do we carry that need for him into the easy times? How do we challenge comfort, so we remember our dependence on God?

My prayer has been that God would teach me how to love him with my heart, soul, mind and strength and love my neighbour as myself. I have found that as I try to maintain this focus and as God honours my desire, He has a great way of making me uncomfortable.

God has been pushing me in a couple of ways. He keeps nudging me into areas that are hard for me. One area is leadership.  Leadership is scary to me for a few reasons. To lead well requires vulnerability, and reveals my inadequacies.

Vulnerability is terrifying. When I share myself, I open myself up to potential rejection. If people do not like what is exposed, they may pull away or abandon me. That can be very scary.

When I share myself with others, they have the opportunity to judge me. Sometimes we hold leaders to standards that are unfair. We may expect more of them. I am going to disappoint.

To lead with integrity and follow the Spirit's leading means sometimes I am called to share parts of myself that I haven't shared before. That is a very vulnerable place to be. This gives others intimate knowledge that they could potentially use to hurt me. Most people won't. More times than I can count, I have been received with grace. But there is always a fear.

Leadership exposes my failings. I am flawed. My worst fear is that my inadequacies could hurt someone. A careless word or action on my part could divide someone from our church family or from God. I pray that God would lead me in righteousness and love, but I am human. I can almost guarantee I will mess up.  That scares me. It keeps me dependent on God.

If I have hurt you, I want to know so I can make it right. I want to be humble, approachable and learn from my mistakes.

This blog is another step into the uncomfortable.

Sometimes God asks me to share something and all I can think is "I have no idea who is going to read this!!!" It is out of my hands with the blog. I have no control of the audience. I wonder why anyone would read what I have to write? When God is urging me to be vulnerable, what do the people who read think? Of me, of him? What might be the common human experience between myself and an individual in the United Arabic Emirates or Sri Lanka?

Yikes!!

It is all very stretching, a little uncomfortable. And...it keeps me dependent on God. As I seek to love God, he leads me into the unknown, constantly pushing the boundaries of my trust and faith.  He challenges me and grows me.

My greatest joys have happened when I follow God into the deep.

I am learning that when I follow, God is faithful. He has given me sweet moments of glimpsing another's soul when my own vulnerability has given them courage to open up.

I am learning that while I may get hurt, he is with me in it, and that is enough. God has suffered for me and I am learning to be willing to suffer for him. An easier thing to say than do. It's a work in progress...

God is more concerned about my character than my comfort. My love for him and who I am are his priority.

I am learning that a life that pushes the limits beyond my comfort, is where life is rich and full and beautiful. It is a life beautifully dependent on God.

I want to move beyond comfort, I want to be in situations that make me aware of my need and continually push me to press into God.

In what ways do you need God to interrupt your comfort so that you need Him?

Why Were You Not You?

Are you trying to be yourself? Or are you trying to be someone else?

Are you trying to grow where someone else was planted?

I was reminded a couple of times this week about a vision God gave me when I was a teenager.

I was working at a camp and was away from my family for the first time. We were training and preparing for the summer. Everyone had been sent off for a period to pray and seek God.

During my prayer time, God gave me a vision of a beautiful birch tree, bright green leaves & flourishing. It was gorgeous. A large canopy of shade, providing space for birds to rest and nest. Sunlight streaming through the leaves. Then he drew my eye to the base of the trunk. In the deep shade of this magnificent tree, there was this little sapling trying to grow. This little sapling was trying hard to grow out of the same spot as the huge, mature tree. The sapling was stunted, failing to thrive and reach it's potential. A sad specimen in contrast to the beautiful full birch.

Then in a moment, God revealed to me that the full mature birch tree was my view of my older sister. A very talented, beautiful, charismatic, social teen at the time. I loved her and thought the world of her. In many ways, she was the brightest star in my universe. I wanted to be like her and  I am sure it drove her crazy.

God then directed my gaze to the struggling sapling again. He showed me the many ways I was trying to be like her. I was not honoring how God had made me and desired to mature me. I was resisting becoming myself and the cost to me was great. He showed me that there wasn't room for two of us in that same spot, one would always overshadow the other. There would be a constant struggle for light.

Then God showed me how he wanted to plant me in my own spot. I wouldn't be fighting to reach the sun, or have to compete for the nutrient rich soul or for water. God had a place for me. He wanted to give me space and opportunity to grow. He planned a place for me to develop and thrive. Furthermore, he wanted the joy of watching me grow into who he designed me to be.

It was a spot in the forest that God wanted to plant me, a spot meant for me. A place he intended to use me to fill.

God showed me that it would be empty without me. He had made me with the gifts, personality, interests and qualities for that space. If I chose to not develop into who he designed me to be, that space would remain barren.

If I continued to try to be like my sister, I would stay underdeveloped, failing to reach my potential and purpose. It would harm me in the end.

That tiny little sapling was a pathetic sight to me in the vision. I realized it was hurting God to see me deny who he had called me to be. It was a slight to my Maker to ignore his work and purpose for me. Denying how he made me was in a way, denying God. Through the vision, God let me feel his grief.

Rabbi Zusya, when he was an old man said, "In the coming world they will not ask me: 'Why were you not Moses?' instead, they will ask me; 'Why were you not Rabbi Zusya?'"

From that point on I have tried to honour God by accepting who he had made me to be.

Where to start?

Who am I? I am not defined by my abilities, likes or what I do well. I am a child of God.  My identity is in Him.

What am I like? I was an introvert trying to be an extrovert....yeah, not good!! I started to learn about myself.

What am I good at? I needed to let God teach me through experience, affirmation from others and honestly, a little trial and error. Through all of that, over time, God revealed what abilities, talents, and gifts that he wanted me to develop and use.

Are you denying who God made you to be?

Will you be asked, "Why were you not you?"

The Fruit of The Spirit: Love

When you think of love, what comes to mind? What forms your understanding of this word and all it encompasses?

In looking at the Fruit of the Spirit, love heads the list. As we go on, it becomes apparent that all of the qualities listed are interwoven. They are interdependent and define one another. It is the fruit of the Spirit, not fruits. A singular fruit, not plural.

As we experience God, spend time with him, get to know him, learn about him, we increase in all these qualities.

If my goal is to love God with all my heart, soul, strength and mind. To obey him by loving others as I love myself.  I desire to emulate his qualities as an act of worship. It is a natural response to who He is. To reach this goal, I must define it.


At the head of the list of fruit in Galatians is love. What is ideal I am reaching for? In the original Greek the word used in the Galatians passage is agape.

Agape love is a pure love that is always seeking the best of the other. Agape love is total and unconditional. It is not dependent on the actions, feelings or behavior of the other. It devotes total commitment to actively pursue the others ultimate best, no matter the response. Agape love is completely selfless, other focused. It does not change no matter what the circumstances. This is the original and only true form of love.

In Christianity Agape is considered to be the love originating from God or Christ for humankind.  Matt 3:17, Mark 10:21. In the New Testament, it refers to the covenant love of God for humans, as well as the human reciprocal love for God; the term necessarily extends to the love of one's fellow man.

This is the love we are called to exhibit through the Holy Spirit and his work in our lives. This is the love we are called to extend to our faith family and all people around us.

Anyone else feeling woefully lacking?!?  Yikes!

This is a high call.

I don't know about you, but most of the time, I feel bogged down in the mud.

While I aspire to exhibit the fullness of agape love as God has given me, I recognize my limits.

I am not able to love this way on my own.

I want to. With all my heart I want to!

If I am really honest with myself, I know I am not able on own.

That is why to increase in this kind of love, I do not only focus on demonstrating this kind of love. I focus on experiencing God, as I receive His love for me, it flows out to others. To merely act loving is not enough. This kind of love flows from the heart and soul of our being.  It only happens as we are transformed by the Holy Spirit as we experience the presence of God through the moments of every day.

The biblical definition of love is found in Corinthians. As we compare we find that many of the qualities that define love in Corinthians are the qualities listed in the Galatians chapter describing the fruit of the Spirit. These characteristics are inseparable.

As I grow in love, I will grow in joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. I may not see the growth from day to day or week to week, but over years, decades, these qualities should come to define me.

As I seek to love others unconditionally, as I strive to seek their best, I am desiring to extend to others the love God has extended to me. This kind of love is only possible through the Holy Spirit. The more I understand God's love for me, the more I am able to give that same love to another.

In what ways do we need to understand God love so that we can extend it to others without reservation?

What's In A Name?

Do you know the meaning of your name? When your parents chose it, what was their thought process?

 Growing up, I was one of many Lisa's. 3 to be exact.  I was simply Lisa, the other two had to use their middle names.  I am not sure why it worked out like that, but it did.

I really disliked having so many people share my name.  As a creative child, it bothered me that my name wasn't unique. 

One year, the three of us ended up in one class. My name was constantly being called, only sometimes for me. I felt silly for responding to someone when they meant to call one of the other Lisa's, it was awkward... 

I was not the child who couldn't find their name on a pen, mug or fake little license with a rainbow on it. I was the kid who was lucky if there was one with my name left.

Once I looked up the meaning of my name in the baby name book that my parents had on a shelf in the basement.  As soon as I read that meaning, I loved my name. All of a sudden it became unique, special.  

Lisa is derived from Elizabeth. The meaning I read that day was Set Apart for God.

When I read that meaning I felt like I was hand selected and set apart.  I was no longer one of many, but specifically chosen.  

It felt like God whispered into my soul. "You are mine, set apart for me." It was a word of love for a little girl who felt unseen, outshone and one of many. Since reading the meaning of my name, I have felt this call on my life. It is where the name of this blog came from. It is one of my life verses and what has motivated me. This truth has been firmly planted in my heart since that day. I am set apart.

The thing is, you are set apart too. 

The fact that I have been chosen and you have been chosen does not diminish how extraordinary it is.

If we love and follow Jesus, we have been called. Chosen. Set apart.

It is the call to be Holy. 

To be holy by definition is to be set apart, dedicated to God.

The foundation of being set apart, is a relationship. It is how " I will be your God and you will be my people" is lived out practically every day. At the heart, it is knowing God and Him knowing you. It is not just choosing to live well and follow the 10 commandments. It is a call to relationship with God.

I love this description found in an excellent article on what it means to be set apart:

God's call to be holy is a radical, all-encompassing claim on our lives, our loves, and our very identities. To be a disciple of Jesus Christ requires nothing less than death to our fallen, egocentric selves in order that we might live in and for him. "For whoever wants to save his life will lose it," says Jesus, "but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it. What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul?" (Mark 8:35-36). To be holy means that all we are and all we have belongs to God, not ourselves, and that every aspect of our lives is to be shaped and directed toward God.

This is what we are called to.

This is what it means to be set apart for more. All that we are and all that we do is shaped and directed to God. It is where purpose, peace and fullness lie.

Thank You

Thank you.

Just a simple thank you.

I made an order for my business through my Rep the other week. It came in perfectly and I sent a little "Thank you!" Well at first I forgot to send it. Then I finally remembered, oops!

I got the most appreciative response.

I was taken off guard actually

Paraphrased...
"You have no idea how much your gratitude meant. You would be surprised how few people express appreciation!"

Hmm....

It is such a simple thing. Yet so often we forget to express this simple consideration. How hard is it to remember to say "Thank you"?

How often do I forget to say it?!?!

Expressing appreciation can give someone the energy to keep going when they thought they couldn't continue.  It is an acknowledgement of someone's work, effort, ability, skill or thoughtfulness. It reveals that you are looking past yourself and recognizing the actions or contributions of another.

People expressed that they would work harder for verbal appreciation than they would for money.

Are motivated to work harder when appreciated.

Other data revealed that money alone is not enough motivation to work harder but verbal appreciation is necessary.

Companionship and recognition are more significant are more important factors in employee retention that monetary reward. The basics of a kind culture involve consideration and respect, and these increase the creative output of both individuals and teams.


The building blocks of consideration and kindness are "Please" and "Thank You".

I love Thanksgiving weekend. It is a perfectly placed break after getting into the rhythm of fall. It is also a great reminder.

Gratitude keeps things in perspective. It can help us rise above the daily frustrations. When we were going through an incredibly difficult time and we didn't see how it could possibly work out, Craig and I focused on the discipline of acknowledging all God had and was doing for us. The daily discipline of thanking God for his goodness to us kept anxiety and fear at bay. It steadied us. It helped us remember God is good and bigger than our troubles.

Giving thanks can keep us focused on Gods' goodness when life is going well. It keeps Him in his rightful place. The daily practice of gratitude keeps us humble and in our rightful place too.  It can help us be present and appreciate the sweet moments of regular life. Perspective!

Give thanks!

The Fruit of The Spirit: How???

I have been struggling with who I am and who I want to be. The difference has been creating tension and dissatisfaction within me. This has led me to study the Fruit of the Spirit more closely this year.

I shared this in an earlier post titled Fruit of the Spirit: Dichotomy

Bear fruit? What??? How?? What kind of crazy metaphor is this???

On this journey of becoming who I want to be rather than who I naturally am, it can be hard to know where to start or how to go about it.

How do I bear fruit?

I can behave lovingly without actually being more loving in my true soul. When the tension, pressure, and hardships of life come, who I am in my innermost being leaks out of the stress fractures that crack my carefully constructed facade.

I was asked to speak about patience to a group of youth last year. I love youth. They are bold, honest and engaging.  I tried some new appetizer recipes out. I asked the Youth to show me what patience looks like while their leaders came and tasted the various treats.

The youth did a great job displaying patience yet, when questioned further, they admitted to feeling cheated, feeling like it was unfair that their leaders got food while they didn't. In short, their inner dialogue exposed impatience. Many admitted that while appearing patient on the outside, they were not actually patient on the inside.

I am way past looking for a surface fix. For a long, long time I have been digging for way more than an external make-over. I want more than a sprucing up of outward appearances.

I want my inner self to be transformed. We are talking major renovation of the heart.

As a brand new Mom, I joined an intimate study. We went through Experiencing God together. It was a perfect storm in my life for God to begin a mighty work.

I struggled with Post Pardum Depression as a new Mom. One day I will share that story. This is not that day. Suffice it to say, motherhood revealed to me that I, like Paul, was the worst of sinners 1Timothy 1:15 NET. I came face to face with my true self. I valued God's grace, salvation, and mercy in deeper more profound ways than ever before. I knew the true depths of my need and began a desperate journey to know and love God more and more.  I had an insatiable desperation to be a new creation.

How does one go about this???

The first chapter of Experiencing God focused of John 15. It beautifully set my focus. I was head over heals with God. I was so amazed by the depth of his love for me. I loved him desperately in return. I wanted God's fruit in my life. There was only one way to to get it.

Jesus told his disciples “I am the vine; you are the branches. The one who remains in me—and I in him—bears much fruit, because apart from me you can accomplish nothing."

Bear fruit.

Remain in him.

Remain...

I am not responsible for the fruit.

I am responsible for remaining.

We tend to want to make this complicated. We want steps to follow, we want it mapped out. When I remain, God will take care of the fruit! This is so freeing!! It is so much more simple than I want to make it!!

Blackaby writes in his  introduction to the first day that knowing God does not come through a program or a method. It is a relationship with a person. An intimate love relationship with God.

We are all wired to relate to God in different ways. But if we do not spend time in his presence, we are not going to develop this relationship. It may mean that we have to go beyond our natural inclinations. If we like to be busy, we may have to learn to be still in his presence. The example of Mary and Martha illustrates this.

The command is:  Be Still and know that I am God. It doesn't look like an optional statement to me...

If we like to be with people, we may have to learn to embrace solitude, Jesus modeled this as he often went off alone to pray. If Jesus needed it, how much more do we???

We are to have His words remain in us. This is more than using the Bible as a work of literature or as an academic book. It is knowing the word of God, using it as a way to know Him and enjoy Him.

We are to remain in His love by obeying what he commands. We can only know what His commands are if we know His words. We may like to seek understanding, wrestle with spiritual truths academically but there is a time to apply truth and live it out practically through obedience.

We may be introverted, or struggling to get over church hurt. We may be disappointed with Christians as a whole. I am sorry if I have caused such disappointment for you. It is the last thing I want to do! We may want to follow on our own, but God placed us in a spiritual family. He called us to get to seek him and live life together as a body. Together we sharpen each other, we spur one another on.

There are loads of disciplines that explore how to be in God's presence and grow our relationship with him.

I know that some of the most difficult for me to develop, and the disciplines that are not in line with my natural wiring, have become some of my most treasured and valuable ways of interacting with God.

Don't write off a discipline off because you don't think it will work for you. Give it an honest effort and time before you make that decision.

Here are a couple of resources:

Be Still
Remain
Delight in His word.
Obey his commands.
I believe these are the starting points.

Let's try a new way. I am looking forward to an abundant harvest of fruit!!

The Fruit of The Spirit: Dichotomy

Do you have those moments when you are confronted by the difference between who you are and who you want to be?

Do you ever feel the tension of those two not being in alignment?

Does the dichotomy of who you want to be and who you really are just stop you dead in your tracks sometimes?

I feel this tension intensely. Marriage, parenting, my role as a Pastor's wife and now blogging all expose the disunion of who I am and who I desire to be.

I wonder if once people really get to know me, do they wonder why God would ever choose me to support a man called to ministry, or raise three kids, or blog? I know that my flawed humanness will disappoint. People who struggle with putting their leaders on pedestals will be disillusioned and disgusted when they see my sin and brokenness.

When I fail to meet their expectations or needs, I fear that I will represent Christ and the pursuit of Christ poorly. Will they deem me unworthy of grace? I know I cannot meet everyone's expectations. I do and will inevitably hurt, disappoint and disillusion those I seek to minister to.

As I blog, I am keenly aware that readers are forming opinions of me. The words I write can misrepresent my true self. Often they express my struggle to be the best version of myself, not my actual self. I am conscious that I may mislead people to think I have it all together and our family is perfect. What would readers think if they were a fly on my wall, seeing me at my worst? Would you read, or even want to know me if you saw the real me? If you saw me unfiltered?

As I was seeking God's guidance for what I should write about this year, he led me to the Fruit of the Spirit. It will be interspersed with other content. The Fruit of the Spirit will be one of the themes on Set Apart for More this year.

I was not surprised by this direction. I am looking forward to it in some ways and not in others.
I have been in that uncomfortable place of self-awareness. I am not as kind, loving, or gentle as I want to be. I want more of those good qualities. I want all of the fruit!!! I want more of God's characteristic traits to become my traits, to define and fill me. I want to be so full of the Fruit of the Spirit that they spill out of me onto others.

I have been struggling with who I am and who I want to be. The dichotomy between creating tension and dissatisfaction within me.

As I explore and wrestle with how I fall short, I will be tempted at times to hide my true self. I promise to fight that temptation.

I write with the goal of honouring my readers through authenticity and honesty. I will do my best to be true. I know that growth and the most powerful journeys of transformation happen when I am honest with myself and others. I ask of you, dear reader,  a willingness to extend grace to my weak and flawed soul.

Will you join me on this journey?

Get Your Dancing Shoes!

Get your dancing shoes boys!!!

Here's the thing...
I want to raise boys who will dance with their wives.
I want to give them the skills to be confident in such a setting and remove the hesitation that could keep them from standing up.
It is important to me.

We go to a few weddings every year. Usually all I see all night long is ladies dancing in a circle while their men sit at tables. I have to admit, I don't like it. I don't care if guys don't like it, it would be nice to see them step up for the girl they love.

So, I am going to do what I can to raise men who will dance with their wives!!

I need to keep a promise I made.

This Sunday we will return to dance lessons with a couple of dear friends, our sons and some lovely young women who have agreed to join us in their Gentlemen's Training.  Oh, it is going to be good times!!

We are so pleased to keep our word and share the love of dance with our children. Sydney, you will join us in Spring.

A tribute to Attila & Alison our ballroom dance instructors,
written close to his last days and read at the celebration of his life.
Attila passed away from cancer on August 5th, 2014. 

We think it is brilliant to hold a dance for all who have benefited from your instruction. Craig and I are so sorry not to be able to come on the 28th and share our love of dance together.  We would treasure sharing a dance one last time. We are sincerely disappointed to miss this opportunity to see you both again. Craig and I often talk about when dance classes will fit into our schedule again and when we will be able to dance regularly. 

When Attila and Craig would bump into one another around town, Attila would quickly ask "When are you coming back to dance?" You made us feel loved and missed! Please know we have always wanted to. Raising 3 kids who are heavily involved in sports & music makes it a challenge right now!

Dance gave us a chance to get out and invest in our relationship, we fondly remember our classes and how Attila would take Craig aside and say "I want you to dance like this with her!". Then Attila would sweep me across the dance floor. Always encouraging, always challenging us to be free in the movement. You made class time fun and we always anticipated it with enthusiasm. I will never again have the opportunity to dance the polka with a gentleman who can create that kind of centrifugal force and spin!! Attila, it was so much fun!! SO much fun!! 

Dance gave us the chance to feel like a gentleman and lady during child raising years that often left us tired and exhausted. It gave us an evening out for laughter, to hold each other, make memories and just be us. Husband and wife. 

When we would practice at home, the kids would watch us and then ask to dance with us. If our oldest son thought Craig was leading in a boring way he would interrupt and say "No Dad, like this!" He would then take me from Craig and spin me in constant turns around the floor. He was about 5 at the time. 

We have incorporated many parts of dance into our marriage. You taught us not to fight on the dance floor. This made us conscious of how we interacted on and off the dance floor. Be kind always! We learned to come mentally prepared to leave the frustrations and irritations of the week behind and just enjoy one another. I had to close my eyes and learn not to think, anticipate, or follow a weak lead. I got to enjoy calming my mind and letting go of my thoughts. I simply had to focus on the music, movement of the dance and being held by my husband. These were amazing lessons for me on and off the dance floor. I had to trust Craig to keep me safe on the dance floor and he has never failed to do so. 

Craig learned to lead with confidence, plan ahead and watch the flow of the floor, this helped him as he recovered from a bad concussion. He took the philosophy of keeping me safe on the dance floor and made it a priority to be a safe place and protector for me in our marriage. 

Dance helped us learn to treat one another as a gentleman and lady. Taught us to guard our relationship and put it first. So important!

We have often thought that we could hardly wait to study dance with you again. We feel great sadness at the loss of this opportunity and pleasure. We have many fond memories of studying dance with you and no one else will ever compare. We are sorry for the cards life has dealt you and know that you have fought hard and with courage. You have touched our lives and we cherish that!! You have been significant in our lives, thank you for sharing yourselves and your love of dance with us. We have been forever changed by you. You are in our thoughts and prayers. May you have strength, peace, and joy for the road ahead.

Again, thank you. Your passion for dance is a gift that will stay with us throughout our lives. We will seek to pass it on to our children as a living tribute to you both. 

Much Love,
Lisa & Craig

Help I'm a Mom: Oh Be Careful Little Eyes...

Has this happened to you?

You have scrambled through the week. Work, school, homework, sports, activities, etc. driving your schedule. You tumble into the weekend, and you are glad it is Friday night. Family night...

Did you think of something to do? No. Me either...
Without a plan, exhaustion quickly taking you down, the well of creativity dry, you settle for a movie night.

Great! What should we watch?

I don't have a clue!!

"So-and-so said their kids loved ___________(fill in the blank)"

Ok, let's try it!

Finally, everyone is seated, has their popcorn and Italian soda ready to go. You are finally relaxing and unwinding from your week; the show seems ok then...€£#%@&$#%#^

One of you is in a mad scramble for the remote, the other crying for everyone to close their ears and cover their eyes!!! Wait!! No!! Close your eyes and cover your ears!!!!  Your other half is still trying to shut off the movie. The adrenaline is pumping. The soundtrack to the show is still playing, and an image too scary for your little ones is still on the screen. While you are throwing blankets over their heads singing some kids song to decrease the amount of tension in the room

You are sure you have wrecked your kids, and you are wondering who on earth recommended this show to a family with kids 6 and under!!!

Then you are wondering what shows that you have recommended to families lately, and why would you ever trust yourself to do that in your sleep deprived, compromised memory state of being. What is the number of that Counsellor???

It is in these moments you wonder again, yes, this is not the first time, why the Good Lord ever trusted you to raise another human...let alone three other humans.

In a desperate attempt to redeem the evening you pull out Thomas the Tank Engine movies and build a track, pushing trains around, eating your popcorn.

What a night!

We learned quickly to be careful of recommended movies. It isn't that people mean to create chaos. At least I don't think they mean to. I think they honestly forget some of those parts. Maybe their kids are less sensitive, or they have a different philosophy of viewing than you. It could be your kids have wild imaginations that cause horrible nightmares. Their kids may not struggle with nightmares. Does it matter in the end?

We learned quickly to preview or read reviews.

Even for ourselves and now with our teenagers, we are selective with what we watch.

One of our favourite sites is Kids In Mind. Another is Plugged In.

These resources give great, concise reviews if you want to take the time to really research a show. Easy rating systems, help you make a judgment call quickly and safely in a pinch. Honestly, they have saved us from many viewing mishaps.

The bottom line is, you alone know what your child can handle. You alone know the values you hold as a family that directs what you choose to watch. You alone can make those decisions.

For our family, honouring The Lord even in a choice as simple as watching a movie is important.

There is a song we used to sing in Sunday School when I was a kid.

Oh be careful little eyes what you see,
Oh be careful little eyes what you see,
There's a Father up above, who is looking down in love,
Oh, be careful little eyes what you see.

As followers of Jesus, our relationship with Him impacts even these details of our lives.

 “I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but not everything is constructive. No one should seek their own good, but the good of others." 1 Corinthians 10:23-24

Is is beneficial?

Is it constructive?

Is it good for my kids?

These are the questions we ask to direct our own viewing and are hopefully teaching our kids to use for theirs!