A Letter To Young Women

When my boys were about 4 and 5 years old, I was getting into the vehicle with them. Ok, it was a van. I was that Mom who drove a van. As we were getting in, we noticed a teenage girl walking to school. My eldest son piped up "Why is she dressed like that? She needs more cloths!" Just as he was finishing his sentence a group of young men drove by. As they passed her, they threw change at her. My heart sunk. When I was growing up that was what unkind teenage boys did to prostitutes and then bragged about it in the halls at school. I was so upset I looked at my little men as my oldest asked "What did they do to her?"  I explained what had happened. I explained that they had treated her without respect. Then I implored them never to treat a girl like that. Not ever!

I wanted to run out and wrap her in a hug. I wanted to tell her so many things. She was scantily clad, but no young lady deserves that. She may have had someone telling her these things but maybe there were circumstances or wounds that prevented her from grasping them.

I have a heart for young women. Not just for my own girl, all girls. They face unique challenges and yet their roads are similar. I see so much beauty and potential in them and yet often they are held back by insecurity and fear. As an older women, I long to impart knowledge and ease the journey. In my heart I know the path of life will take them there. The same seed of truth repeated often enough will take root in their hearts, eventually. At the right moment they will be set free and transformation will happen. It is just a matter of the heart being ready to receive it. It happens at a different point for everyone, when they are ready.

There are a number of lovely young women in our church. I adore them.! Truly! They are bright stars in my week. Each is beautiful, gifted and priceless. If I could help them avoid some of the traps, if I could ease the journey along, I might write a letter like this:

Precious Girl;

1. You are enough. Don't try to fit in, or worry about who is popular, or if you are popular. The people who are worth knowing will recognize your value and cherish you. They are the people worth getting to know. Walk with your head held high.
2. 

   Learn to enjoy exercise. Don't exercise so you can look a certain way. Exercise to be healthy, strong, and confident. Exercise has the incredible ability to overcome stress and hormones and all sorts of crazy that sneaks into our thinking. Instead of reaching for ice cream, call a friend and play tennis, go for a walk, hit the gym. This habit will never let you down.
3. If some one doesn't treat you well, they do not deserve your loyalty. You should not be unkind in return. In fact always be kind, to everyone. But set boundaries, you deserve kindness and respect.
4. It is good to stand up for your self. Do not give into the pressure of doing what everyone else wants. It is alright to say what you would like to do or not do.
5. Find your soul sisters and hang on tight! They make this life all the better! They will laugh with you, cry with you, encourage and celebrate with you, just as you do with them. These are the girls who love you in-spite of your flaws and value you for your strengths. They believe in you and always defend you. You need these women to make it through this life!!
6. Never ever sacrifice your soul sisters for a boy. Boys come and go, soul sisters are for a life time!
7. Girls typically want to know if a boy finds them pretty. Of course they do! They just haven't got a clue how to say it! They wait until you won't see them look because they are scared. When they are a man, they will let it be known that they see your beauty.
8. What does it matter anyway? Your closest friends know you are beautiful, it is just a fact! Indisputable!!
9. Dress in a manner that you are comfortable with and communicates that you respect yourself. If you are not modest, you may attract attention, but like the girl my boys and I passed on the road, is it the quality of person and the kind of attention you want? It isn't about name brands or money but rather how you dress will communicate the level of respect you expect to receive.
10. 

    Do not, under any circumstances let fear get the best of you. It does not deserve that power in your life. On that note- don't fear or worry about what others are thinking, for the most part, they are too busy worrying about what others are thinking of them to be conscious of you.
11. If someone tries to make you feel small, it is because they are hurt and feel small themselves. Respond with dignity, grace, and compassion. Hurting them will only make them more mean. Do not accept the behavior, tell them kindly not to speak to you that way or do that to you. Do not take their behavior personally, it reflects their lack of character and pain. How you respond reveals your character.  
12. Going out in groups and seeing a person in many situations is a great way to determine if they are worth pursuing a friendship with. How do they respond to stress? How do they treat their famil, siblings, parents, grandparents? How do they respond when someone is frustrated with them? How do they act when they are angry? How do they treat others when they are angry? How do they treat service people? How they respond reveals character, that tells you if they are worth knowing better!
13. Date someone with the same beliefs and values as you. If you love hiking, swimming, cycling and being active, would you choose to marry a couch potato? If you love art, creativity and the aesthetic, would you date someone who did not see the beauty and value of it? Would you choose someone who discouraged you from it or did not want to share it with you and encouraged you in it? If you love God, align with someone who loves God. They will encourage, understand and seek that together with you. You share the deepest most meaningful intimacy if you do. That is worth it! Decide what you love and choose someone who loves the same things! Relationships are hard enough without adding in extra battles.
14. Learn to laugh, even at yourself. Then, keep laughing!
15. Enjoy the ride! When God has his rightful place in your life, even the bumpy bits, detours and washed out bridges turn out alright. Actually, they turn out better than alright!!

There is so much that is good in your lives. Please take time to be thankful for it. I also know your world is tough to survive. I know that there are wounds on your heart from the battle. Bring them to God!! I pray the truth of these words brings some healing. If you give him a chance, God will certainly bring healing. Even if you feel alone, you are not! You are deeply loved and treasured by the one who breathed life into you! You are loved by your family and so many others! I love you too!

Praying, freedom, joy and acceptance into your lives.
With Much Love, 
Lisa