Where Are You Going?

For many, this is the time of year when they feel they get a fresh start. They excitedly anticipate what the New Year will bring and what can be. That often leads to New Years Resolutions...

I am not big on them.

Truthfully, I never have been.

The idea of New Years Resolutions is almost on the right track.  In reality, they lack staying power.  The longevity just isn't there. If there isn't a bigger picture they fit into, if resolutions do not fit where you are going as an individual, family, etc. they go nowhere. The repeated failure can create a cycle that leaves you stuck. You end up going nowhere.

A few weeks ago I shared a story with a group of women. I was surprised it came up and honestly a little taken aback with how passionate I was regarding the point I was making.

The Challenge was: Where are you going?

We have a dream to go to New York this year with some very dear friends. YAY!! We have a couple of dates worked out, we are searching for flight sales, we are researching what we want to do. We are having fun anticipating. The dream has started the action. It is fun.

Do you have a dream?

Who do you want to be?

What do you want your marriage or relationships to be?

What qualities and characteristics do you want your family to exhibit?

Have you dreamed any dreams for these things?

My parents have always been spiritual giants to me.  From the time I was young, their love for God impacted me. My Mom has displayed a servant heart, practical help for others and humility that I have always desired. My Dad demonstrated a passion for people, the word of God and spiritual disciplines. They live lives that make following Jesus attractive.

As a young woman, I was frustrated that I wasn't more like my Dad. Every evening I had seen my Dad study his Bible, from the time I was little. As a young adult, I was discouraged with my lack of discipline. Craig gently told me one day "You don't know where your Dad was at when he was twenty." Hmmm....

I was comparing myself to a man a couple of decades ahead of me. Even my memories as a little girl were of a man 10 years older than I was at the time. With Craig's challenge, it all came clear, it was an unfair comparison, but a worthy goal.

Instead of comparing, I set a direction for who I wanted to be. I got specific. I started to take steps toward that goal and align myself with people seeking that similar goal.  You learn to spot them along the way.

It takes a big picture idea, focus, action and accountability to achieve a goal.  I think New Years Resolutions fall short in most of these areas. Instead of making a resolution,

1. Dream a dream. define where you are going.
2. Identify the steps you need to take to get there.
3. Start with the first steps.
4. Align yourself with people who are already going there, they inspire you to keep going. When you get off track, they are the ones to see it first and help you find your way again.
5. Tell some one. Be vulnerable with those people you are aligning with, let them really journey with you. They can be your biggest cheerleaders, and often see growth when you do not.
6.  Build in regular evaluation check-points. It is important to take a block of time where you can fairly look at where you are, where you came from and what the next steps are in getting you to your destination. Consider sitting down and booking off some time every few months, a minimum of 4 times this year where you will take the chance to evaluate. Take that chance to set course, realign if needed and push on.
7. Don't give up. You are not going to get it perfect or even close every day. Don't waste time beating yourself up. Press on.

It is an interesting thing to dream a dream, action begins.  You start moving toward realizing it. If you don't know what God is putting on your heart, pray. If you get stuck, pray. If you can't find the people to align with, pray.  God can give you sight to see what is next, who he has for you or what direction he wants you to head. Just don't stop. Press on.

Keep your eyes on where you are going!

A Place

Have you ever wondered how Joseph felt? What would it be like to hear that your fiance was suddenly pregnant and you had nothing to do with it? In fact, she pleaded with you to believe her innocence? What would he have thought when she claimed that an Angel had told her she carried the Messiah, that she was innocent of anything impure?  How would you handle it?

The turmoil Joseph experienced must have been excruciating.  From scripture, he seems like a very tenderhearted man. Wanting to spare Mary shame, he wanted to handle it all quietly. Then he got a visit. Face to face with an Angel, I cannot even grasp what that would have been like.

Joseph woke from his vision with new understanding and a choice. There was a place for him in this magnificent plan. He had a choice to make, would he take that place?  Josephs actions speak loudly.

He did as he was commanded.

Joseph refrained from intimate relations with Mary until the child was born. When the baby was born they named him Jesus just as the Angel had told him to.

How did he feel when he held this new baby?

What was spinning through his mind as the little hand grasped his finger?

He was supposed to be a Father to this baby, who in turn was to become his Redeemer?

This helpless babe was to become the Savior of the world.

I am sure Joseph was full of questions and doubt. Could he love this child as his own? How does one parent God? How is it possible that this baby would grow up to reconcile people to God? Was that Angel a figment of his imagination?

You may wonder the same things. It may be difficult to grasp that this could be true. It might be hard to imagine that Jesus is anything more that a story.

Scripture meets more of the Literary requirements than any other document, it is reliable. Eyewitness accounts were written, letters circulated while eyewitnesses were still alive. Over 500 eyewitnesses. Not one contradicted what was written about Jesus. I can't see that many people making up the same story and sticking to it if it wasn't real.

The Miracle of Christmas, the miracle of Christ is powerful. Powerful enough that a man, who by law should have separated from his seemingly unfaithful fiance kept his promise and married her. Joseph claimed Jesus as his own, loved him and raised him. 

That first night, as Joseph held that little baby, he didn't know what lay ahead. He wasn't given a detailed timeline or manual of how it was all going to unfold. He accepted it, lived it and took his place, the one prepared for him. If you have taken your place, I pray that this Christmas, the miracle reignites your passion for the Good News we have been entrusted with.

If you do not believe or are struggling to believe, are you ready to do some solid investigation? Do you need to take an action step like Joseph? Are you ready to take your place?

I Need Christmas!

There is nothing like driving during the Christmas season, in parking lots, while you have PMS to remind you that you need a Savior...

It is why I need Christmas.

There is nothing like the frustration of the shoes on the floor instead of the shoe rack, bags lying around rather than on their hooks hanging neatly out of the way, or clutter building up through the week.  Let's not even mention the state of the bathroom!!!

Sure, I can rationalize my frustration. "I have only been asking 5 days a week, for the last 20 years that the backpacks get hung on their hooks." Who wouldn't be frustrated?

Yeah, I have asked every day for the last 2 decades that shoes be put on the rack, who would blame me for losing my mind over this. Am I right!?! Maybe I have the right to snap at my kids rather than reminding them in love to do something they should know how to do.

While it might be understandable, it doesn't make it right. I may want to rationalize my temptation to have a tantrum, That immediate frustration is startling sometimes. It reminds me of my ugly sinful nature, I am constantly in battle with.

When I lose it, I could minimize it and say "you win some, you lose some."

Somehow, that just doesn't sit right.

If I am really wanting to grow spiritually and reflect Christ in my life.  That kind of approach will only hold me back.  It tries to make what is wrong seem less wrong. I don't see God ever do that in scripture.  That should tell me there is something wrong with that approach.

I need Christmas. The season is an opportunity to reflect on the lengths to which God went to save me.

I need to be saved from myself, I want to be freed from my sinful nature. I cannot achieve victory over it on my own.

I need Christmas.

The season reminds me of all that Jesus gave up. He had a face to face relationship with God. Perfect union and harmony. Jesus released this, let go of all his powers, became fully human and submitted to the Father.Christmas to remind me of this.

In light of all that, I cannot rationalize my sin. It cost too much. Christmas keeps me from minimizing the sin that made all that he did necessary.

It started in the manger and leads to the cross.

I need Christmas because I need a Savior.

Advent: Peace

I started wrestling with the topic of Peace at the beginning of the week. Knowing Peace was what I was supposed to write about this week and fitting with this Sunday as it is the first Sunday of Advent. That evening I received a difficult text from a beloved friend. Medical tests for one of their dear family members came back with positive markers for health issues no one wants...

As they wrestle with the unknowns and the horrendous wait to know more, I am supposed to write about peace?

Won't it sound trite?

Will they feel judged if they are struggling to find peace?

How do you find peace in the midst of such turmoil? Is it possible?

How dare I talk about peace?!?

In the Christmas season, peace is so relevant. God sent his Son to reconcile us to God and bring peace.  In paying the price for our sin, our faith in Jesus brings us into peace with God.

We live in a world of chaos, wars, rumors of wars. Today, more people enslaved than ever before. Astounding inequity between those who have and have not. Horrible acts of violence occur.

 How can we experience peace in the midst of the pain, suffering, and uncertainty?

I feel at a loss.

Are you seeking peace?

Is your mind burdened, wrestless, unfocused?

Could your choices be keeping you from peace?

Are you seeking unity with those around you?

Peace is the third characteristic listed in the fruit of the Spirit. Love, joy, then peace.

The peace we find in God is incomparable and indescribable to anything else. Similar to joy, it can transcend circumstances. It comes from the Lord and is the fruit of a life lived according to God's best for us. We are called to live in peace with one another as the family of God. Peace is the result of obeying God and loving others as ourselves.

My prayer for you this Christmas Season,
and always

no matter your circumstance:

The Fruit of the Spirit:Joy

How do you define joy? Have you struggled to find a suitable definition? Has it been difficult to define what characterizes joy and creates it?  Have you been searching for it?

I have often struggled to define joy in a manner that covers its depth and breadth.  It is the second fruit mentioned in the passage on the Fruit of the Spirit that we have begun working through. Love is the first characteristic listed  All these qualities join together to define the fruit produced by the Holy Spirit in the life of a maturing believer.

Joy is perhaps one of the toughest to define. I liked this definition: It is a settled state of contentment, confidence, and hope. Joy is something that is deep within and doesn't leave quickly.

This explanation iis the closest I can get to a real definition of joy. It still struggles to fully capture what the believers’ experience of joy is. If fails to help us grasp what joy accomplishes in the life of someone who puts their hope in Jesus.

Joy is completely uninfluenced by circumstances. Whether life deals you good or bad situations, joy is not impacted when we keep our focus where it belongs.

Where does joy come from?

1. The Lord.

Knowing God creates joy. Of the 88 times Joy is mentioned in the Old Testament, 55 of them occur in the Psalms. As we learn who God is, we find joy in Him.  

When God heard my prayers and answered me, I learned to know him as the one who hears me. As I have experienced him shelter and guard me, I have come to know him as My Rock and Fortress. When I was exposed to the fullness of my sinfulness and saw His holiness and beauty in contrast to my sin, I found the inexpressible joy that my Savior has freed me from what binds me and offered to create his image of holiness in me. 

What joy is this?!? 

A clear understanding of God creates joy in our lives. For this reason, it is important to grow in a proper knowledge of who God is.

Psalm 16:11, Psalm 59:16, Romans 15:13

2. Scripture.

The Bible is God’s love letter to creation. Through it, He shows us who he is and what his best for us is. Scripture it is referred to as the law of the Lord. As scripture reveals truth to us, it becomes a source of joy. It makes clear what we were designed for, as we find our purpose and live in it, our joy increases. When I learn to love others as I love myself, joy increases. As I learn how to say no to my sinful nature and yes to Gods plan, I experience freedom and joy increases.

Psalm 119:111

I have inherited Your testimonies forever, For they are the joy of my heart.

Paul recognizes the war he fights with the sinful nature and his desire to do good. He states that he joyfully concurs with the law of God in his innermost being. 

3. Spiritual growth

In James, we are encouraged to consider it all joy when we face trials because the testing of our faith produces endurance. Endurance develops our faith to perfection so we may be complete and lacking nothing. As we remain in God and he bears this fruit in our lives, there is joy in the victory we experience. I struggled with anger, and as I clung to God and hoped in him for freedom, he started to change me. My children were able to see the transformation and witness the power of God demonstrated in my weakness. There are no words for the joy that comes from overcoming through the power of Christ.

4. The Spiritual growth of our Spiritual Family

Paul repeatedly expresses great joy at the response to God that he sees in those he shared the Good News of Christ with. Over and over in the letters he writes what a comfort and joy this is to him and those with him.

One of the greatest joys of having the privilege of serving in the same church over 20 years has been the opportunity to see God’s work in the lives of our Brothers and Sisters. The length of time we have been around has enabled us to experience the deep joy of seeing people dedicate their life to the pursuit Jesus. Witnessing transformation in their lives is a deep source of encouragement and joy to us.

Philippians 1:4-6, Acts 15:3

5. The Hope we have.

This earth is our struggle for a time. The day will come when we get to enjoy the eternity of heaven.  God with us. He, being the source of all infinite joy, love, goodness, holiness and everything we long for.  Things that we cannot see, hear or imagine are being prepared for us. He will wipe every tear from our eyes; there will be no more death or mourning, crying or pain. All that is wrong with this world will be made right.  This is where our hope is, this is why in the midst of chaos and pain we can still experience joy, because in a little while we will see Jesus come and make all things new.

1 Cor 2:9, Colossians 1:9-12, Hebrews 10:34, 1 Peter 1:8, Romans 8:18

When we keep our eyes on God, in his word and what he is doing, joy is the result. Deep abiding joy.

Help I'm a Mom: No Black Sheep

Have you ever felt like the Black Sheep? No matter what you do, you can't just go with it, you need to challenge or fight? It is you against the world? Were your siblings the good ones?

Do you have a sibling who no matter the consequence had to go against the flow?  Do you know some one who has an innate need to fight the system? Were you the good one?

We were listening to a preacher, he talked about "good kids" in a family and immediately one of my children jokingly tapped the others on the arm.  It was wrapped in a smile and light-hearted on the surface. My heart hurt as I wondered to myself if that child felt like the "bad kid" a "black sheep". Does my deeply loved, adored child really feel like a bad kid? How have I failed?!?

A Warrior child is most at risk of the label. They may take on this black sheep mantle for a few reasons.

1. They recognize that they struggle to obey which results in family conflicts and can be confused about why it is so hard for them. 
2. They see their siblings obeying easily and feel bad because they struggle with that. 
3. Their siblings are often confused by their need to fight and wonder why their Warrior sibling can't just do what needs to be done. Frustration and disapproval can be communicated through words and body language.
4. A Warrior child sees less conflict in other family relationships and concluded they are bad for fighting. 
5. Things can be expressed during conflict that a Warrior child can misinterpret to mean they are bad.

Kid's naturally make comparisons even if we as parents don't. Even in spite of our discouragement of such behaviour, our Warrior child struggles to not compare themself to their siblings.

I talked to our child after that sermon to ask if they identify the self as the "bad kid".  They admitted though their behaviour was joking, there is a piece of them that feels that way. In spite of our affirmation, expressed love and acceptance, the fact that they need to fight and struggle to obey leaves them feeling bad.

We have tried so hard to assure our children that their differences are strengths, cherished and that we delight in them. We have tried to express love and unconditional acceptance, yet our child still felt like the black sheep. I assured our child again that we do not think of them as the bad kid. I expressed our joy and pride in who they were. Every part of them is treasured by us.

We have tried to avoid this self labeling a few ways

1. Our love for them is unconditional, we do not withdraw love because of behavior.
2. We affirm their strengths.
3. We try to help them understand that conflict isn't bad.
4. We are committed to fighting fair and check that our behaviour to others is in line with how we want to be treated.
5. We encourage the sibling to celebrate and value their differences and have grace on one another's weaknesses.
6. There are no bad kids, no black sheep, in this family. They are all made in the image of God and declared good.

Our Warrior has seen that aspect of their personality as bad, wrong. They have wished it wasn't part of them. While it can be challenging to guide, we love this part of our child. They are courageous, sure of their convictions, a leader and amazing. We have tried to affirm the Warrior in them, acknowledging that it is a piece of God's image.

I have prayed long and hard for God to change this child's view of this part of their character.  One day God asked me to start to pray a song over this child.  Right there in the lyrics was one of the answers to my hearts-cry for my child.

I’ve tried to win this war I confess
My hands are weary I need Your rest
Mighty Warrior, King of the fight
No matter what I face, You’re by my side

One day as we were driving together the Spirit nudged me to tell this child that God had called me to pray this song over them. That for months I had been praying this. I mentioned that the lyrics were Gods message. That God delighted in their Warrior heart because he is a Warrior. They don't need to fight on their own, He is with them in it.

I felt the Holy Spirit fill the car, my child's heart quieted and opened to hear. God spoke love, acceptance and healing into their heart and I got to witness it. It was one of the most beautiful moments I have had the delight of witnessing.

If you are a Warrior child, you are not a black sheep, you are a champion in training, made in the image of The Champion.

If you have a sibling who is a Warrior, guard yourself against resentment and frustration.  Ask God to help you see them as God sees them, try to be lavish with love, acceptance and grace as you desire to be treated in your areas of struggle.

If you are raising a Warrior, delight in their strength, will and tenacity. While they seem so confident, they often need a double dose of  encouragement, love and acceptance. God loves that part of your child and wants it affirmed, guided and cultivated. He has trusted you with that incredible task and will equip you for it.

More Than Comfort

When you think of comfort. what images arise?

I think of my big comfy chair bathed in sunlight.

How do you respond to situations that push you beyond what you are comfortable with? What is your response to discomfort?

I was listening to a sermon by a favorite speaker/author, Bob Goff. He is hilarious but poignantly inserts deep truths.  One of the many truths that caused me to reflect from this latest sermon was "Comfortable people don't need God."

It made me wonder...

In what ways do I need to challenge my comfort? How is comfort undermining God's place in my life? In what ways am I relying on myself instead of God because life is comfortable?

We know how it works, life is good and we are going along, we talk to God a little less, read our bibles infrequently, all of a sudden we are cruising along ignoring him.

Then something doesn't go our way and we need him again. We pray more, dive into the Word and we are clinging to God again.

How do we carry that need for him into the easy times? How do we challenge comfort, so we remember our dependence on God?

My prayer has been that God would teach me how to love him with my heart, soul, mind and strength and love my neighbour as myself. I have found that as I try to maintain this focus and as God honours my desire, He has a great way of making me uncomfortable.

God has been pushing me in a couple of ways. He keeps nudging me into areas that are hard for me. One area is leadership.  Leadership is scary to me for a few reasons. To lead well requires vulnerability, and reveals my inadequacies.

Vulnerability is terrifying. When I share myself, I open myself up to potential rejection. If people do not like what is exposed, they may pull away or abandon me. That can be very scary.

When I share myself with others, they have the opportunity to judge me. Sometimes we hold leaders to standards that are unfair. We may expect more of them. I am going to disappoint.

To lead with integrity and follow the Spirit's leading means sometimes I am called to share parts of myself that I haven't shared before. That is a very vulnerable place to be. This gives others intimate knowledge that they could potentially use to hurt me. Most people won't. More times than I can count, I have been received with grace. But there is always a fear.

Leadership exposes my failings. I am flawed. My worst fear is that my inadequacies could hurt someone. A careless word or action on my part could divide someone from our church family or from God. I pray that God would lead me in righteousness and love, but I am human. I can almost guarantee I will mess up.  That scares me. It keeps me dependent on God.

If I have hurt you, I want to know so I can make it right. I want to be humble, approachable and learn from my mistakes.

This blog is another step into the uncomfortable.

Sometimes God asks me to share something and all I can think is "I have no idea who is going to read this!!!" It is out of my hands with the blog. I have no control of the audience. I wonder why anyone would read what I have to write? When God is urging me to be vulnerable, what do the people who read think? Of me, of him? What might be the common human experience between myself and an individual in the United Arabic Emirates or Sri Lanka?

Yikes!!

It is all very stretching, a little uncomfortable. And...it keeps me dependent on God. As I seek to love God, he leads me into the unknown, constantly pushing the boundaries of my trust and faith.  He challenges me and grows me.

My greatest joys have happened when I follow God into the deep.

I am learning that when I follow, God is faithful. He has given me sweet moments of glimpsing another's soul when my own vulnerability has given them courage to open up.

I am learning that while I may get hurt, he is with me in it, and that is enough. God has suffered for me and I am learning to be willing to suffer for him. An easier thing to say than do. It's a work in progress...

God is more concerned about my character than my comfort. My love for him and who I am are his priority.

I am learning that a life that pushes the limits beyond my comfort, is where life is rich and full and beautiful. It is a life beautifully dependent on God.

I want to move beyond comfort, I want to be in situations that make me aware of my need and continually push me to press into God.

In what ways do you need God to interrupt your comfort so that you need Him?