Do I Have a Favorite?

Do you think your parents play favorites?  Do you think you are the favorite?  

Does your sibling or siblings think they are too?

We were talking with a group of young adults and they were convinced their parents had favorites. they were so bold as to assert that Craig and I had favorites among our children.

As much as we tried to convince them otherwise, that was their perspective. 

I was a little put off at being told I have a favorite amongst my kids. 

I love them all so much that it makes my heart almost burst. yet how I love them is different.

I really, really hope they all think they are my favorite!

Once you become a parent, I think this changes. I have been struggling to find the words to express my love for my kids.  My love is equal yet different for each of them. I maintain that I do not have a favorite.

I am disturbed by the idea of favorites because each family in the Old Testament who chose a favorite child was ripped apart by that behavior. I want nothing to do with it. It is unhealthy in every way. I actually consider it a generational sin, Isaac and Rebecca each had a favorite and that caused family division, their son Jacob favoring Joseph caused division. These people are included to let us know to follow God we do not have to be perfect, but shame on us if we do not learn from their mistakes!

Even so, I still lacked the words to describe the intensity yet varied nature of my love for my children.

I meet with a group of beautiful young women (inside and out!). We started a devotional called Without Rival, found in the Bible study plans in the YouVersion Bible App.  It is based off a book called Without Rival by Lisa Brevere. It is fantastic and addresses our identity in God specifically as women. Yet the truths apply to men also.

In this study, Lisa proposes that God loves us uniquely and my soul cried out “YES!!!”

We are created unique, there is no one like us. We are unique in our appearance, temperament and in how we are designed to worship and honor God.

To honor our uniqueness, God loves us uniquely.

AHA! This is exactly what I was trying to express to my young friends. I may not be as good at this as God, but this is what I try my best to do as a Mom. 

My children are completely different from one another. One is an extreme extrovert, one is an extreme introvert and one is an extroverted introvert. One spends their spare time reading, another playing music, the other expressing their creativity in artistic model design. While each possesses these next qualities, each of them shines more in a specific area. One has an incredible imagination, one a talent for information and knowledge and the other is gifted in reason and understanding. 

How am I to love them the same when they are so different? It is impossible!

Just because one shines in an area does not diminish the shine of the others in their area of strength.

I do not value any of these traits above the other and do not love one child more than another. They each are fascinating and wonderful. 

I do not love my children the same, I love them the way they are in their uniqueness, which in turn renders my love for them unique. 

And so to honor their uniqueness, I love each one uniquely.

They do not need to compete for my love. They are the only one of their kind. 

No one can compete with them. 

There can be no rivalry because no one can rival them. 

That is what it means to be unique.

Children, if you are reading this,  believe it with all your heart. 

Your parents love you each fiercely and uniquely. 

There is no one else that I love the way I love you, Sydney.

There is no one else that I love the way I love you, Quin.

There is no one else that I love the way I love you, Connor.

You cannot compare it, it cannot be measured. Each of you is precious and priceless to me.

When I commend one, it does not mean I value them more, 

There are qualities I commend you for too! If you need reminders about where you shine, 

come ask me. 

Do not feel outshone by your sibling, you shine in beautiful ways too. You can all shine without diminishing one another's glow. 

Do not compare yourselves to one another.  

Your Father and I do not compare you to each other, 

because each of you is beyond compare.

My dear children,  how beautiful to realize your Heavenly Father loves each of you this way? It removes all need to compete because there is no one in your category. You are one of a kind. There is no one to compare you to.

You are Without Rival.