Advent: Peace

I started wrestling with the topic of Peace at the beginning of the week. Knowing Peace was what I was supposed to write about this week and fitting with this Sunday as it is the first Sunday of Advent. That evening I received a difficult text from a beloved friend. Medical tests for one of their dear family members came back with positive markers for health issues no one wants...

As they wrestle with the unknowns and the horrendous wait to know more, I am supposed to write about peace?

Won't it sound trite?

Will they feel judged if they are struggling to find peace?

How do you find peace in the midst of such turmoil? Is it possible?

How dare I talk about peace?!?

In the Christmas season, peace is so relevant. God sent his Son to reconcile us to God and bring peace.  In paying the price for our sin, our faith in Jesus brings us into peace with God.

We live in a world of chaos, wars, rumors of wars. Today, more people enslaved than ever before. Astounding inequity between those who have and have not. Horrible acts of violence occur.

 How can we experience peace in the midst of the pain, suffering, and uncertainty?

I feel at a loss.

Are you seeking peace?

Is your mind burdened, wrestless, unfocused?

Could your choices be keeping you from peace?

Are you seeking unity with those around you?

Peace is the third characteristic listed in the fruit of the Spirit. Love, joy, then peace.

The peace we find in God is incomparable and indescribable to anything else. Similar to joy, it can transcend circumstances. It comes from the Lord and is the fruit of a life lived according to God's best for us. We are called to live in peace with one another as the family of God. Peace is the result of obeying God and loving others as ourselves.

My prayer for you this Christmas Season,
and always

no matter your circumstance:

The Fruit of the Spirit:Joy

How do you define joy? Have you struggled to find a suitable definition? Has it been difficult to define what characterizes joy and creates it?  Have you been searching for it?

I have often struggled to define joy in a manner that covers its depth and breadth.  It is the second fruit mentioned in the passage on the Fruit of the Spirit that we have begun working through. Love is the first characteristic listed  All these qualities join together to define the fruit produced by the Holy Spirit in the life of a maturing believer.

Joy is perhaps one of the toughest to define. I liked this definition: It is a settled state of contentment, confidence, and hope. Joy is something that is deep within and doesn't leave quickly.

This explanation iis the closest I can get to a real definition of joy. It still struggles to fully capture what the believers’ experience of joy is. If fails to help us grasp what joy accomplishes in the life of someone who puts their hope in Jesus.

Joy is completely uninfluenced by circumstances. Whether life deals you good or bad situations, joy is not impacted when we keep our focus where it belongs.

Where does joy come from?

1. The Lord.

Knowing God creates joy. Of the 88 times Joy is mentioned in the Old Testament, 55 of them occur in the Psalms. As we learn who God is, we find joy in Him.  

When God heard my prayers and answered me, I learned to know him as the one who hears me. As I have experienced him shelter and guard me, I have come to know him as My Rock and Fortress. When I was exposed to the fullness of my sinfulness and saw His holiness and beauty in contrast to my sin, I found the inexpressible joy that my Savior has freed me from what binds me and offered to create his image of holiness in me. 

What joy is this?!? 

A clear understanding of God creates joy in our lives. For this reason, it is important to grow in a proper knowledge of who God is.

Psalm 16:11, Psalm 59:16, Romans 15:13

2. Scripture.

The Bible is God’s love letter to creation. Through it, He shows us who he is and what his best for us is. Scripture it is referred to as the law of the Lord. As scripture reveals truth to us, it becomes a source of joy. It makes clear what we were designed for, as we find our purpose and live in it, our joy increases. When I learn to love others as I love myself, joy increases. As I learn how to say no to my sinful nature and yes to Gods plan, I experience freedom and joy increases.

Psalm 119:111

I have inherited Your testimonies forever, For they are the joy of my heart.

Paul recognizes the war he fights with the sinful nature and his desire to do good. He states that he joyfully concurs with the law of God in his innermost being. 

3. Spiritual growth

In James, we are encouraged to consider it all joy when we face trials because the testing of our faith produces endurance. Endurance develops our faith to perfection so we may be complete and lacking nothing. As we remain in God and he bears this fruit in our lives, there is joy in the victory we experience. I struggled with anger, and as I clung to God and hoped in him for freedom, he started to change me. My children were able to see the transformation and witness the power of God demonstrated in my weakness. There are no words for the joy that comes from overcoming through the power of Christ.

4. The Spiritual growth of our Spiritual Family

Paul repeatedly expresses great joy at the response to God that he sees in those he shared the Good News of Christ with. Over and over in the letters he writes what a comfort and joy this is to him and those with him.

One of the greatest joys of having the privilege of serving in the same church over 20 years has been the opportunity to see God’s work in the lives of our Brothers and Sisters. The length of time we have been around has enabled us to experience the deep joy of seeing people dedicate their life to the pursuit Jesus. Witnessing transformation in their lives is a deep source of encouragement and joy to us.

Philippians 1:4-6, Acts 15:3

5. The Hope we have.

This earth is our struggle for a time. The day will come when we get to enjoy the eternity of heaven.  God with us. He, being the source of all infinite joy, love, goodness, holiness and everything we long for.  Things that we cannot see, hear or imagine are being prepared for us. He will wipe every tear from our eyes; there will be no more death or mourning, crying or pain. All that is wrong with this world will be made right.  This is where our hope is, this is why in the midst of chaos and pain we can still experience joy, because in a little while we will see Jesus come and make all things new.

1 Cor 2:9, Colossians 1:9-12, Hebrews 10:34, 1 Peter 1:8, Romans 8:18

When we keep our eyes on God, in his word and what he is doing, joy is the result. Deep abiding joy.

Help I'm a Mom: No Black Sheep

Have you ever felt like the Black Sheep? No matter what you do, you can't just go with it, you need to challenge or fight? It is you against the world? Were your siblings the good ones?

Do you have a sibling who no matter the consequence had to go against the flow?  Do you know some one who has an innate need to fight the system? Were you the good one?

We were listening to a preacher, he talked about "good kids" in a family and immediately one of my children jokingly tapped the others on the arm.  It was wrapped in a smile and light-hearted on the surface. My heart hurt as I wondered to myself if that child felt like the "bad kid" a "black sheep". Does my deeply loved, adored child really feel like a bad kid? How have I failed?!?

A Warrior child is most at risk of the label. They may take on this black sheep mantle for a few reasons.

1. They recognize that they struggle to obey which results in family conflicts and can be confused about why it is so hard for them. 
2. They see their siblings obeying easily and feel bad because they struggle with that. 
3. Their siblings are often confused by their need to fight and wonder why their Warrior sibling can't just do what needs to be done. Frustration and disapproval can be communicated through words and body language.
4. A Warrior child sees less conflict in other family relationships and concluded they are bad for fighting. 
5. Things can be expressed during conflict that a Warrior child can misinterpret to mean they are bad.

Kid's naturally make comparisons even if we as parents don't. Even in spite of our discouragement of such behaviour, our Warrior child struggles to not compare themself to their siblings.

I talked to our child after that sermon to ask if they identify the self as the "bad kid".  They admitted though their behaviour was joking, there is a piece of them that feels that way. In spite of our affirmation, expressed love and acceptance, the fact that they need to fight and struggle to obey leaves them feeling bad.

We have tried so hard to assure our children that their differences are strengths, cherished and that we delight in them. We have tried to express love and unconditional acceptance, yet our child still felt like the black sheep. I assured our child again that we do not think of them as the bad kid. I expressed our joy and pride in who they were. Every part of them is treasured by us.

We have tried to avoid this self labeling a few ways

1. Our love for them is unconditional, we do not withdraw love because of behavior.
2. We affirm their strengths.
3. We try to help them understand that conflict isn't bad.
4. We are committed to fighting fair and check that our behaviour to others is in line with how we want to be treated.
5. We encourage the sibling to celebrate and value their differences and have grace on one another's weaknesses.
6. There are no bad kids, no black sheep, in this family. They are all made in the image of God and declared good.

Our Warrior has seen that aspect of their personality as bad, wrong. They have wished it wasn't part of them. While it can be challenging to guide, we love this part of our child. They are courageous, sure of their convictions, a leader and amazing. We have tried to affirm the Warrior in them, acknowledging that it is a piece of God's image.

I have prayed long and hard for God to change this child's view of this part of their character.  One day God asked me to start to pray a song over this child.  Right there in the lyrics was one of the answers to my hearts-cry for my child.

I’ve tried to win this war I confess
My hands are weary I need Your rest
Mighty Warrior, King of the fight
No matter what I face, You’re by my side

One day as we were driving together the Spirit nudged me to tell this child that God had called me to pray this song over them. That for months I had been praying this. I mentioned that the lyrics were Gods message. That God delighted in their Warrior heart because he is a Warrior. They don't need to fight on their own, He is with them in it.

I felt the Holy Spirit fill the car, my child's heart quieted and opened to hear. God spoke love, acceptance and healing into their heart and I got to witness it. It was one of the most beautiful moments I have had the delight of witnessing.

If you are a Warrior child, you are not a black sheep, you are a champion in training, made in the image of The Champion.

If you have a sibling who is a Warrior, guard yourself against resentment and frustration.  Ask God to help you see them as God sees them, try to be lavish with love, acceptance and grace as you desire to be treated in your areas of struggle.

If you are raising a Warrior, delight in their strength, will and tenacity. While they seem so confident, they often need a double dose of  encouragement, love and acceptance. God loves that part of your child and wants it affirmed, guided and cultivated. He has trusted you with that incredible task and will equip you for it.

More Than Comfort

When you think of comfort. what images arise?

I think of my big comfy chair bathed in sunlight.

How do you respond to situations that push you beyond what you are comfortable with? What is your response to discomfort?

I was listening to a sermon by a favorite speaker/author, Bob Goff. He is hilarious but poignantly inserts deep truths.  One of the many truths that caused me to reflect from this latest sermon was "Comfortable people don't need God."

It made me wonder...

In what ways do I need to challenge my comfort? How is comfort undermining God's place in my life? In what ways am I relying on myself instead of God because life is comfortable?

We know how it works, life is good and we are going along, we talk to God a little less, read our bibles infrequently, all of a sudden we are cruising along ignoring him.

Then something doesn't go our way and we need him again. We pray more, dive into the Word and we are clinging to God again.

How do we carry that need for him into the easy times? How do we challenge comfort, so we remember our dependence on God?

My prayer has been that God would teach me how to love him with my heart, soul, mind and strength and love my neighbour as myself. I have found that as I try to maintain this focus and as God honours my desire, He has a great way of making me uncomfortable.

God has been pushing me in a couple of ways. He keeps nudging me into areas that are hard for me. One area is leadership.  Leadership is scary to me for a few reasons. To lead well requires vulnerability, and reveals my inadequacies.

Vulnerability is terrifying. When I share myself, I open myself up to potential rejection. If people do not like what is exposed, they may pull away or abandon me. That can be very scary.

When I share myself with others, they have the opportunity to judge me. Sometimes we hold leaders to standards that are unfair. We may expect more of them. I am going to disappoint.

To lead with integrity and follow the Spirit's leading means sometimes I am called to share parts of myself that I haven't shared before. That is a very vulnerable place to be. This gives others intimate knowledge that they could potentially use to hurt me. Most people won't. More times than I can count, I have been received with grace. But there is always a fear.

Leadership exposes my failings. I am flawed. My worst fear is that my inadequacies could hurt someone. A careless word or action on my part could divide someone from our church family or from God. I pray that God would lead me in righteousness and love, but I am human. I can almost guarantee I will mess up.  That scares me. It keeps me dependent on God.

If I have hurt you, I want to know so I can make it right. I want to be humble, approachable and learn from my mistakes.

This blog is another step into the uncomfortable.

Sometimes God asks me to share something and all I can think is "I have no idea who is going to read this!!!" It is out of my hands with the blog. I have no control of the audience. I wonder why anyone would read what I have to write? When God is urging me to be vulnerable, what do the people who read think? Of me, of him? What might be the common human experience between myself and an individual in the United Arabic Emirates or Sri Lanka?

Yikes!!

It is all very stretching, a little uncomfortable. And...it keeps me dependent on God. As I seek to love God, he leads me into the unknown, constantly pushing the boundaries of my trust and faith.  He challenges me and grows me.

My greatest joys have happened when I follow God into the deep.

I am learning that when I follow, God is faithful. He has given me sweet moments of glimpsing another's soul when my own vulnerability has given them courage to open up.

I am learning that while I may get hurt, he is with me in it, and that is enough. God has suffered for me and I am learning to be willing to suffer for him. An easier thing to say than do. It's a work in progress...

God is more concerned about my character than my comfort. My love for him and who I am are his priority.

I am learning that a life that pushes the limits beyond my comfort, is where life is rich and full and beautiful. It is a life beautifully dependent on God.

I want to move beyond comfort, I want to be in situations that make me aware of my need and continually push me to press into God.

In what ways do you need God to interrupt your comfort so that you need Him?