Twenty years ago, when Craig took his first position as a Pastor, we were a young couple still wet behind the ears. The call to ministry was strong. At 14 years of age, the Lord had prepared me for this future, telling me I would marry a Pastor. I know that sounds strange to some. It was so strange to me I only confided it to a couple of people. I wanted to be sure I had heard God's call correctly.
When Craig and I met, he was planning to be a missionary. When he asked me to marry him, he wanted me to be sure if I had been called to be a Pastor's wife. He was heading into missions; he wanted to be sure I was honouring God's call on my life. I prayed about it for a while, talked with some trusted mentors and became confident that God had brought us together.
Craig started getting confirmation from trusted and respected people that the Pastorate was his calling. He finished a Bachelors in Christian Ministry with honours, top of our class at Bethany Bible College and went on to Columbia Bible Collage and finished a Bachelors in Youth Ministry.
As his graduation approached, we were talking with a church in Maple Ridge. Neither of us felt that was where God was calling us. Then Westwood Church called us to candidate. In the middle of that weekend, Craig's home church called us and asked us to put his name forward there. Even though our candidation had some major bumps, we were feeling the call to serve at Westwood. What kind of bumps you ask? Well, for one example, we were told we would participate at a Junior Youth event. We would play with the kids, and Craig would be given a chance to share a small talk. We arrived, no leaders were present and parents were approaching us asking what the plan was for the evening. We ended up running the night, completely spur of the moment. While stressful, we had a great time and felt a connection with the kids.
At the end of the weekend, Westwood extended the invitation to join the team. Craig asked for a week to pray about it in light of the request from his home church and after that time he accepted the invitation to Westwood.
Knowing the call I had received as a youth, I was excited to partner with Craig. I was also fearful. I had seen Pastoral couples experience very painful circumstances in ministry. I knew the reputation PK's (preachers kids) had, rebellious, risk-taking, challenging kids. I was honestly a little worried about what the future would hold. Even though the future was uncertain, I was excited. Even then I knew that to be within the will of God was the best place for us to be.
Westwood has been an amazing church family for us. People have asked what it takes to minister in one place for so long; we started August 1, 1995. We celebrated 20 years this last August 1, 2015. We are so thankful for the love, relationships and stability we have enjoyed at Westwood. We are so thankful to God for the gift of this. Anyone who has been in church or worked in a church knows how unique 20 years in one church is. Neither of us feels like we had much to do with it. Westwood is an amazing, gracious, loving church family. The Board has always been trustworthy, godly, and dedicated in their leadership. God has been merciful and gracious in allowing us this longevity of service to one church family. It has been a gift, a gift we value and cherish so much!
The blessing of this longevity over the years have been incredible. The stability has been a real gift. We have seen incredible growth in some, witnessed the faithfulness of God meeting the needs of his people. We have seen this family reach out generously to our community and seen youth develop passionate faith, grow up and raise families. We have seen people celebrate significant anniversaries, 30 to 50 years and more together. These are some of the most beautiful gifts longevity in ministry brings. Our kids have come to know their church family well. They have grown up here. They have been loved here, and they have learned to serve here.
As kids whose parents were involved in ministry, we had a few concerns. We knew there were risks. Early in our ministry, a couple we respected greatly came for a visit. They had been in Pastoral Ministry from early in their marriage and were reaching the empty nest phase of life. They challenged us saying "God does not expect us to sacrifice our children on the altar of ministry." That hit us deeply and caused us to consider prayerfully what that meant for our family. We didn't want our kids to resent the demands of ministry on us as their parents or on them. We wanted them to adopt the value of serving their church family in some capacity. We did not want them in grade 12 feeling like they had "done their time!" as I have heard other PK's say. We have kept a finger on the pulse of their hearts in this area and feel we have been able to strike a working balance. Our church family at Westwood has given us the freedom to do this and that has been an incredible gift to us as a family.
Having known some PK's, we were concerned about the perceived pressure to be perfect. That could come from us as parents or from the church. Trying to figure out what was normal and not feeling like we had to be "Super Parents" was a tricky balance for us. Learning what expectations were/are reasonable, took time and understanding on our part. Our church family has not made our kids feel like they are being watched and evaluated. Our children have not expressed a sense of pressure to be perfect, to know all the right answers or have superior knowledge of the Bible just because they are PK's. Westwood gave our kids the permission to be normal, flawed, regular kids. They have felt free to be themselves, and more importantly, accepted as themselves.
Church is made up of people who are imperfect. We, the church, make mistakes. Sometimes those mistakes hurt others. Sometimes we hurt each other. It is awful, but it is the truth. Church is the place that reconciliation is to be lived out. It is how we show the world God's redemptive story. We don't always get it right. Craig and I were very mindful that how we handle that kind of hurt could impact our children significantly. Hurt happens in the church; that is a reality of being human. God was able to walk us through those times in ways that did not compromise our kids commitment to, faith in or willingness to be a part of a church family. We believe that the people who make up the church are the vessels which God uses to deliver his message of hope to the world. We believe that commitment to a local body of believers is vital for developing our own faith as well as the faith of the generations being raised up. We believe that through loving each other well, we can effectively communicate that message of hope to the world around us. Growing up at Westwood has allowed our children to keep believing that too.
Our oldest just had her last Sunday at Westwood. She is heading off to College. She was very emotional before we got to church. She didn't want to miss saying good-bye to the many people who have impacted her. She would whisper quietly to me "There are too many people to say good-bye too. I can't find them all!" Honestly, those words were beautiful to my ears. I was overwhelmed with gratitude. We walked home, tears streaming down her face, an ache in her heart. She is going to miss her church family. SHE IS GOING TO MISS HER CHURCH FAMILY!!!! She couldn't find all the people she wanted to say good-bye to. She had an hour and couldn't do it in that time. Do you know what that means to me?! To us?! Our church family has loved our child well. In return, she loves them. Numerous people have loved on her, significantly enough that she wanted to seek them out to say good-bye. That means that she has significant relationships here, meaningful relationships. She feels known and knows others. She feels safe here. She belongs here. This is her family. Leaving it is painful. How sweet is that!?
If you would have told me at the beginning of our Ministry career that we would serve in one church for twenty years, I wouldn't have believed you. The average Youth Pastor was serving 1.5 years at that time. If you would have told me that we would raise PK kids who were not rebellious and resentful to the church, I am not sure I would have believed you. So many of my PK friends struggled and held their churches at arms length if they even bothered to even attend church any more. If you would have told me that our child would find it hard to say good bye to her church family, well I probably would have looked at you like you were speaking a language I couldn't comprehend. But here we are, and all those things are true.
How do I say thank you? Thank you, from the tips of my toes! Thank you for loving us well. Thank you, my dear church family, for living in a way that has made our child feel loved and valued. Thank you for loving our child so well that it is hard for her to say good-bye. Thank you for giving her the freedom to be herself. Thank you for giving her the gift of acceptance. Thank you for your friendship. She is going to miss you. How can I possibly find the words to tell you what that really means to us!? Thank you, we adore you most deeply. Thank you for truly being family!! Thank you for making our years of service such deep joy. Thank you for loving our kid well!
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