Thank You! To Our Church Family

Twenty years ago, when Craig took his first position as a Pastor, we were a young couple still wet behind the ears. The call to ministry was strong. At 14 years of age, the Lord had prepared me for this future, telling me I would marry a Pastor. I know that sounds strange to some. It was so strange to me I only confided it to a couple of people. I wanted to be sure I had heard God's call correctly. 

When Craig and I met, he was planning to be a missionary. When he asked me to marry him, he wanted me to be sure if I had been called to be a Pastor's wife.  He was heading into missions; he wanted to be sure I was honouring God's call on my life. I prayed about it for a while, talked with some trusted mentors and became confident that God had brought us together.

Craig started getting confirmation from trusted and respected people that the Pastorate was his calling.  He finished a Bachelors in Christian Ministry with honours, top of our class at Bethany Bible College and went on to Columbia Bible Collage and finished a Bachelors in Youth Ministry. 

As his graduation approached, we were talking with a church in Maple Ridge. Neither of us felt that was where God was calling us. Then Westwood Church called us to candidate. In the middle of that weekend, Craig's home church called us and asked us to put his name forward there. Even though our candidation had some major bumps, we were feeling the call to serve at Westwood. What kind of bumps you ask? Well, for one example, we were told we would participate at a Junior Youth event.  We would play with the kids, and Craig would be given a chance to share a small talk. We arrived, no leaders were present and parents were approaching us asking what the plan was for the evening. We ended up running the night, completely spur of the moment. While stressful, we had a great time and felt a connection with the kids.     

At the end of the weekend, Westwood extended the invitation to join the team. Craig asked for a week to pray about it in light of the request from his home church and after that time he accepted the invitation to Westwood. 

Knowing the call I had received as a youth, I was excited to partner with Craig. I was also fearful. I had seen Pastoral couples experience very painful circumstances in ministry. I knew the reputation PK's (preachers kids) had, rebellious, risk-taking, challenging kids. I was honestly a little worried about what the future would hold. Even though the future was uncertain, I was excited.  Even then I knew that to be within the will of God was the best place for us to be.

Westwood has been an amazing church family for us. People have asked what it takes to minister in one place for so long; we started August 1, 1995. We celebrated 20 years this last August 1, 2015. We are so thankful for the love, relationships and stability we have enjoyed at Westwood. We are so thankful to God for the gift of this. Anyone who has been in church or worked in a church knows how unique 20 years in one church is. Neither of us feels like we had much to do with it. Westwood is an amazing, gracious, loving church family. The Board has always been trustworthy, godly, and dedicated in their leadership. God has been merciful and gracious in allowing us this longevity of service to one church family. It has been a gift, a gift we value and cherish so much!

The blessing of this longevity over the years have been incredible. The stability has been a real gift. We have seen incredible growth in some, witnessed the faithfulness of God meeting the needs of his people. We have seen this family reach out generously to our community and seen youth develop passionate faith, grow up and raise families. We have seen people celebrate significant anniversaries, 30 to 50 years and more together. These are some of the most beautiful gifts longevity in ministry brings. Our kids have come to know their church family well. They have grown up here. They have been loved here, and they have learned to serve here.

As kids whose parents were involved in ministry, we had a few concerns. We knew there were risks. Early in our ministry, a couple we respected greatly came for a visit. They had been in Pastoral Ministry from early in their marriage and were reaching the empty nest phase of life. They challenged us saying "God does not expect us to sacrifice our children on the altar of ministry." That hit us deeply and caused us to consider prayerfully what that meant for our family. We didn't want our kids to resent the demands of ministry on us as their parents or on them. We wanted them to adopt the value of serving their church family in some capacity.   We did not want them in grade 12 feeling like they had "done their time!" as I have heard other PK's say.  We have kept a finger on the pulse of their hearts in this area and feel we have been able to strike a working balance. Our church family at Westwood has given us the freedom to do this and that has been an incredible gift to us as a family.

Having known some PK's, we were concerned about the perceived pressure to be perfect. That could come from us as parents or from the church. Trying to figure out what was normal and not feeling like we had to be "Super Parents" was a tricky balance for us. Learning what expectations were/are reasonable, took time and understanding on our part. Our church family has not made our kids feel like they are being watched and evaluated. Our children have not expressed a sense of pressure to be perfect, to know all the right answers or have superior knowledge of the Bible just because they are PK's. Westwood gave our kids the permission to be normal, flawed, regular kids. They have felt free to be themselves, and more importantly, accepted as themselves. 

Church is made up of people who are imperfect. We, the church, make mistakes. Sometimes those mistakes hurt others. Sometimes we hurt each other. It is awful, but it is the truth. Church is the place that reconciliation is to be lived out. It is how we show the world God's redemptive story. We don't always get it right. Craig and I were very mindful that how we handle that kind of hurt could impact our children significantly.  Hurt happens in the church; that is a reality of being human. God was able to walk us through those times in ways that did not compromise our kids commitment to, faith in or willingness to be a part of a church family. We believe that the people who make up the church are the vessels which God uses to deliver his message of hope to the world. We believe that commitment to a local body of believers is vital for developing our own faith as well as the faith of the generations being raised up.  We believe that through loving each other well, we can effectively communicate that message of hope to the world around us. Growing up at Westwood has allowed our children to keep believing that too.

Our oldest just had her last Sunday at Westwood.  She is heading off to College. She was very emotional before we got to church. She didn't want to miss saying good-bye to the many people who have impacted her. She would whisper quietly to me "There are too many people to say good-bye too. I can't find them all!" Honestly, those words were beautiful to my ears. I was overwhelmed with gratitude. We walked home, tears streaming down her face, an ache in her heart. She is going to miss her church family. SHE IS GOING TO MISS HER CHURCH FAMILY!!!! She couldn't find all the people she wanted to say good-bye to. She had an hour and couldn't do it in that time. Do you know what that means to me?! To us?! Our church family has loved our child well. In return, she loves them. Numerous people have loved on her, significantly enough that she wanted to seek them out to say good-bye. That means that she has significant relationships here, meaningful relationships. She feels known and knows others. She feels safe here. She belongs here. This is her family. Leaving it is painful. How sweet is that!? 

If you would have told me at the beginning of our Ministry career that we would serve in one  church for twenty years, I wouldn't have believed you. The average Youth Pastor was serving 1.5 years at that time. If you would have told me that we would raise PK kids who were not rebellious and resentful to the church, I am not sure I would have believed you. So many of my PK friends struggled and held their churches at arms length if they even bothered to even attend church any more. If you would have told me that our child would find it hard to say good bye to her church family, well I probably would have looked at you like you were speaking a language I couldn't comprehend. But here we are, and all those things are true. 

How do I say thank you? Thank you, from the tips of my toes! Thank you for loving us well. Thank you, my dear church family, for living in a way that has made our child feel loved and valued. Thank you for loving our child so well that it is hard for her to say good-bye. Thank you for giving her the freedom to be herself. Thank you for giving her the gift of acceptance. Thank you for your friendship. She is going to miss you. How can I possibly find the words to tell you what that really means to us!? Thank you, we adore you most deeply. Thank you for truly being family!! Thank you for making our years of service such deep joy. Thank you for loving our kid well!

The Original "Boo"

I discovered I was carrying our third child while brushing my teeth on our oldest child's third birthday.  I only ever gag like that when I am pregnant. Taking the test was a mere formality. I let Craig know and he quickly broke into his big grin.  I had already known immediately after the birth of our second that we were not done, there would be at least one more baby. Now our next adventure was on its way. 

 Connor was a delight right from the beginning. He did things his own way. He entered the world face up. He was the only one of our children born with fine blond hair an inch long. Immediately he was nicknamed "Boo". He was " Boo" before Monsters Inc. was produced and the name suited him perfectly. Meet the original "Boo".

Connor was our easiest baby, cooing himself to sleep at nap time, flexible enough to let me rock him to sleep when the older two were safely engaged in play. He slept 6-7 hours a night at a month old and nursed well. I remember thinking with surprise "Wow, babies can be really fun!"

Connor's gentle, observant nature was evident immediately. He didn't miss a thing. I often got comments from people on how beautiful a child he was. He broke into huge smiles when his big sister and brother entered the room and was very attached to Craig & I.  Whenever people would ask me to describe him, I would become speechless. I would end up saying "You really have to experience Connor to know him."  That is why there will be more pictures in this blog than in most!

Connor is a true introvert. Not a fan of crowds from the beginning, I didn't have much success leaving him in the nursery at church. He would sit quietly on my lap watching everything around him. Connor was especially content if his Dad was preaching. We had to rescue him from the stage many a Christmas Eve service, as he cried desperately to escape the crowd. We always gave it a go the following year and just as we anticipated, one year he made it through the production.  Once during swimming lessons, a fellow mom commented that he must really be afraid of water. I explained that Connor was very comfortable in the water having spent his summers at the lake since he was days old. It was, in fact, the unfamiliar classmates he was with that were causing his distress.  

Connor was comfortable entertaining himself from a young age and has an incredible imagination from which to draw. What I would give for a glimpse into that keen, creative, active mind. While he had a good vocabulary and I refused to allow his siblings talk for him, Connor was a boy of few words. I would come upon him playing quietly, whatever action he was creating, punctuated by quiet explosions and sounds. On holidays one summer, his Auntie discovered him. He was around the back of the tent trailer all by himself, explosions sounding from his little mouth. "Connor, what's going on?" "An alien war Auntie."  He gave her a look indicating that she shouldn't have to ask. I often wonder if his imagination is so vivid that he forgets that the rest of us can not actually see the worlds he creates. As his older siblings headed off to school and he was the only one at home with me, Connor began to talk. We realized he just wasn't inclined to compete to be heard. He just needed air time. Finally, I was included in his world.  Through his questions and comments, I was provided a window into his wonderful mind. One of his Grade Two teachers said fondly, "Connor will be working away, then his pencil will lift, his head will tilt, and there he goes, off into his own little world."  Thankfully his Primary teachers valued imagination and were patient with him, giving him time to rejuvenate in his quiet way.



Even though Connor is our introvert, he is the one who brings us together to play games. He loves games and one of my favorite phrases was "Mom, will you play with me?"  I would drop anything at those words! He can be sneaky and likes to pull one over on you! From early on another nick name for Connor was "Stealth Monkey".  Curiosity and an uncanny knack for quiet led to much trouble. If things were silent, I went running to find what mischief he was up to. We played Laser Tag with our extended family one time and even though Connor is the youngest, he was the most successful of the kids. He enjoys sneaking about to catch people unaware or the challenge of slipping past someone unnoticed! 

Connor has always had a strong moral compass. He loves God deeply and has a keen sense of logic around truth.  Watching Connor take the step of Baptism this year was one of our highlights! ( more on that in this link!) Connor has a deep commitment to kindness and respect for others also. To be called a good person by Connor meant he never heard you talk or act unkindly to someone or behind their back. He has a very high standard of evaluation and very few make the cut. I was shocked to get a call from a teacher when Connor was in grade three. He had been sent to the Principle for pushing a kid on the playground. Connor had noticed older kids pushing one of his classmates. He intervened the only way he could think of, to protect his friend, he got in the middle and pushed back. Once home he explained that if it happened again, his teacher wanted him to find a Supervisor. "What am I supposed to do? Let my friend keep getting hurt while I go get help?! He is smaller than everyone else!" Their solution didn't make sense or sit well with Connor's sense of loyalty or safety. 

Connor loved sports but greatly disliked the behavior competitive kids showed on the field, court or pitch. His love of the game is fed by joy in the playing of a sport and not just winning. He was always patient when others made mistakes and found it very hypocritical when other teammates couldn't be. I would ask him if anyone said something mean to him. "No Mom, I just don't like the way they talk to each other. It's not fun." His teachers often would comment on his incredible agility and confidence in sport. Even student teachers recognized the distinct difference in him on the field, talkative and confident and in the classroom quiet and not wanting any attention. He is athletically gifted and in line with his temperament, excels at individual sport. 

Connor is very clever but stopped thriving in the typical classroom by grade four. For him, school is too restrictive and confining in nature. Year after year his teachers would comment in frustration "He is so clever! I just cannot help him thrive academically." Until grade six. Ms. MacDonald, who herself is very like Connor,  helped to open the doors for him. To sit at a desk drains his thinking power. To be squished in a class with so many others, takes away his voice.  To not have creative exploration encouraged in the classroom setting, drains his Spirit dry. His is a unique mind that does not fit the limitations of our school system. We have prayed and prayed that his confidence would remain and tried to give him the opportunity to explore in ways that will encourage him to challenge himself. We have done a mix of Public School and on-line school to give him some diversity and have had great results. We keep looking for ways to feed his curiosity. My next plan is to buy an old used lawn mower for him and his brother to dismantle and learn about. If you see a cheap one in the paper, let me know ;)

Connor is our poser, whenever the camera comes out, he has a silly stance or smile. Crazy face pictures are his favorite! His humor comes out in these small ways. Connor was delighted when in a series of group pictures, he and a friend kept moving away one step at a time. As you flip through the pictures, the two of them slowly move out of the shot.


Connor has always loved helping out. If I was baking or working he would come and see if there was anything fun to do.  He has always been cooperative and enjoys getting his hands dirty. If Craig has a job requiring the use of tools, Connor is quick to go check out what is happening and help. He is an excellent craftsman and has an eye for design!


I have always played a diverse range of music for our kids. One year I discovered The Piano Guys video performance of "We Three Kings".  I couldn't wait to share it with them. Success! At Christmas dinner, Connor quietly piped up that he would like to play the cello.  Not wanting to overwhelm him, we gave him a month to think about it. Once it was clear he was really interested, we made an appointment to visit a teacher. The teacher recommended that before visiting him, we make a visit to the local Violin Shop to see and try out a cello. When the owner placed the bow in Connor's hand and he tentatively played, she noticed his gentle touch and agile fine motor skills and exclaimed "You have a beautiful touch! You are a natural!" She was right. We arrived to the Cellist and the meet and greet became a lesson. The music that has filled our home since brings joy to us all! How spoiled are we!!?

Connor, raising you has been a privilege. You are an incredible person! Kind, observant, intelligent, curious. You have a drive to do tasks well. Your cooperative nature will serve you well in situations where you work with others as will your respectful manner and communication style. You are full of so much potential and we are thrilled to get a front row seat to see you reach it! You are strong, courageous and brave, we love how you are willing to stick up for others and also value your keen logic and quick wit! We are thankful for your deep love for the Lord and his truth. Your foundation is strong and will set your path straight. We love you "Boo!"  We thank God for bringing you to us and the way you made our family complete!