Gently Guiding

I feel like I need to mention that my family gave me permission to share this story. They are supportive, encouraging and selfless. I am so blessed by them and immeasurably thankful for them. I love them deeply!!

To set the stage for where God was directing me I need to go back and tell you about growing up a little sister. I looked up to my big sister and completely adored her growing up. Unless you are a little sis with a big sis, I am not sure you can understand the depth of this admiration. All a big sister would see is the frustrating results "Mom, she's copying me again!" "Mom, she is following me around, she won't leave me alone!" "Mom, she took my cloths again!!" It was all out of a desire to be with her & be like her. I didn't mean to be a bother. I just wanted to be close to what was the brightest star in my universe.

My big sister is the prettiest, coolest, most talented, athletic, smartest, most amazing person in the world.  She is fearless, outgoing, and the life of the party. She has a million friends and the best cloths.  She is spirited, passionate and makes things happen.  

She brought chaos to our home!!!  My sister was the kind of girl that no matter where she went, she fell in with the party crowd.  You could drop her in the middle of the prairies, 30 minutes away from town at a bible school and she would magnetically attract the party kids.  That is who God wired her to relate to, who God created her to be a light to.

We grew up in the 70's and 80’s, a time where church goers could read the bible and condemn the Pharisees for their legalism. Then quickly turn around and judge you blindfolded. The church culture of the day was, no drinking, no dancing, no parties, no jeans at church and certainly no ripped jeans ever, the list goes on. We were struggling to find the balance between grace and expectations.  The rules were endless and could threaten to create a judgmental mindset and false sense of community if not guarded. You were either a rule follower or a rule breaker. For a determined kid like my sister, there was plenty to fight against.

My parents raised us with grace and love. They did an excellent job. No parent is perfect. I am not a perfect parent. The conflict in our home was difficult for all of us. For a tenderhearted, peacemaking kid like me, I felt like I was growing up in World War 3. It started when my sister hit high school.

I resented my sister for causing such strife in our home. I also became fearful of the judgement she received.  Some people assumed because of the crowd she hung out with that she broke more rules than she actually did. Some didn't take the time to know her or talk to her or ask her about her life or her choices.  She was guilty by association and that hurt her, watching her get hurt, hurt me.  I didn't understand her need to push the boundaries but I also didn't understand how quick some people were to make assumptions and judgments about her, without even really knowing her or talking with her.

She was what I have called, a Warrior Child. She would fight doggedly with my parents, she was unrelenting. If she was hurt, she would fight more fiercely. It completely astounded me. I couldn't comprehend it. I was compliant by nature and hated conflict. My stomach would hurt as they fought and it scarred me deeply.  It took me a long time to forgive her for the hurt she caused in our home.  Years later I asked her why she fought so hard and she could give no answer.

Now, that said, she has grown into a beautiful minister of grace, she loves the Lord and her local church and is very mission minded. She has a gorgeous voice and loves to serve her church family through music. She has a heart for young moms with new babies and blesses them. She is on the ground level of a mission starting in Honduras and loves the orphans immensely. She is the most generous person I know and loyal to a fault. She did not allow the judgment she received to build a hardness in her. She continues to give to her current church family in-spite of the hurt she has experienced. She is courageous and continues to risk. Her spirited nature refuses to be crushed by the judgement of others. If you are in trouble, she will drop everything to be there for you. She is generous, fiercely loyal and protective.  I have an incredible amount of love for her and tremendous respect for her. She is my sister and she holds a unique and special place in my life.

Over the last couple of years, one of our children started having trouble with obedience. I recognized a pattern of behavior. It reminded me of my sister. I was raising a Warrior Child! I cannot describe the fear, sorrow or pain that I felt about this. It reached to such a deep part of my soul. It brought up all that hurt that I had felt as a young teenager.  I couldn't figure out what was going on. I didn't know what I was doing to contribute to it.  I could see our other two kids starting to react as I had. In their hearts, hurt, resentment, frustration, and anger were growing. Not understanding their siblings need to push back on boundaries, they became sad, tense and hurt. Their relationships suffered as their sibling began to create chaos in our home. 

I felt out of my depth and grieved that what I had determined would not repeat itself in my home was in fact repeating.  I felt heartbroken as I watched the treasured relationships of our family become strained, wounded and broken.  We prayed, read parenting books, talked to friends and my parents. I wept with sorrow as I saw the wounds that those behavior choices left on our child's dear sweet soul. There was a crushing weight that their rebellion left them under. I cried because history looked like it was coming around again and I didn't think I could survive it, not again.

Eighteen months ago, the situation hit a crisis point for Craig and I. We ended up in the doctors office without our child. We couldn't actually get them there. We just desperately needed to rule out any physical factor that could be impacting the situation.  Our GP patiently listened to us and asked questions. He was very gracious and kind. Finally he announced that we were the proud parents of a healthy normal teenage child.  He gave us a few ideas on how to direct behavior, both ours and our child's. Then he asked to see us in a while for an update and possibly a physical for our child, just to be thorough.

While I was glad that there was nothing wrong physically, I was out of tricks.  We had prayed, we had tried all sorts of different ways of parenting. I thought we had exhausted all the resources at our disposal. I felt that as the parents, change had to start with Craig and I, but I had no idea where to go from here.  I started pleading with God in true desperation. I started a fast of sorts and spent lengthy times with God begging him to have mercy on our child, our home. I persistently requested that he change the direction of what was happening. I was frantic to regain peace and harmony. I wanted all of us to be able to thrive in the atmosphere of our home because in the current chaos, none of us could. I was at a dead end with nothing but a broken heart.  

About three days into this, I was driving my boys home from Karate, pleading with God.  As I drove, I sensed God tell me to start writing love messages to all the kids on sticky notes. I was to start leaving them on their pillows at night.  I was so confused, I had read the love languages book, I thought we were doing everything we needed to do in that area. We had reduced the negative language in our home and only took on the most essential of issues. It didn't make sense, love notes seemed too simple.  I bounced the idea off Craig and he said "What could it hurt?" I tested it off my best friend who had been praying with me. She too thought it was worth a try.  I had such a strong sense that this was the first step. I quickly ran out got sticky notes and a new pack of colorful pens. When I got home I wrote them each a love note and left it on their pillow.  

That night, Quin came to my room with the note stuck to his finger, his eyebrows  raised . I just responded "it is a love note for you."  I got my hugs and kisses from each of them that night. Sydney and Connor didn't say a word about the notes.  The next day I walked into the boys room to put their love notes on their pillows. Quin’s was stuck to his dresser and Connor’s was stuck on the wall by his pillow.  I couldn't figure out what Sydney was doing with hers. A week later I looked up as I entered her room and there was a colorful little collage taking shape on the wall.

A week in, the atmosphere of our home was totally transformed.  All of a sudden the chaos was gone. Our child's rebellion melted. Their heart was affirmed with all that we loved and cherished about them. There is SO MUCH to love and cherish. The relationships started to heal. Love, peace and harmony were growing. True restoration was at work. Some how our love was getting lost in the chaos. Even though we were speaking encouraging, affirming words, the message was crushed in the conflict and consequences.

God used the written word to transform our childs heart and our home. We saw the increase of security that comes from knowing they were unconditionally loved and treasured.  There was an openness to instruction and a willingness to obey. I don’t actually understand it. The written word held more power. Love was communicating louder than the conflict again. All of a sudden correction was easier to accept and praise was easier to believe. Our motives and feelings as parents were no longer questioned.  

It was a miracle brought by the mercy of my God.  My soul was healed and my fear removed. We saw our children heal and thrive. Our family was restored. It has been a powerful and transforming experience. A few years back when I was walking with a dear friend through a difficult time, God directed me to a verse in Isaiah.  It was a verse that was meant to encourage her through that time. It speaks to God's tender love for little ones and their parents. It speaks to the mercy he shows us when we don't know the way. It is found in Isaiah 40:11 "He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young."

I know this Shepherd. He has gently led me. He has carried my precious lamb in his arms, close to his heart. In his mercy he showed us the way. He honored the cry of my soul and delivered us from having to relive my worst fear. He broke the pattern from repeating and he has filled our home with peace, forgiveness and grace.  He is in the business of making things new. He is a good and faithful Shepherd.  

Fear Not

I don't know what it was this week. The topic of fear came up with notable regularity. It started with some of my own fears rising up in the secret place in my heart. Then repeatedly, in conversation with others as the week progressed. Not because I had introduced the topic. It just popped up. I feel like It happened enough that it deserved a post.

Fear has always had a root in my life. As a child I would cry myself to sleep, frightened of disaster, my parents getting hurt, or abduction. Fear of big, unknown, scary things. One night my Mom happened upon me. She listened to my fears through my sobbing, rubbed my back and prayed over me. God's peace flooded my heart with power. With mercy and grace his love brought dramatic and quick change. I never cried myself to sleep again with those specific fears haunting my heart. It was the first gentle pulling of the root.

Over the years, different fears have risen. I learned to run to God with them, in time, disciplining my thoughts to cling to God's promises. Bit by bit he tugged at the root. Each fear I brought to him was gently over time tugged out of my heart. There was never a hole left, just the beautiful peace that passes understanding. 

So many fears can flood our hearts. Fear of the unknown, fear of failing people, fear of their judgement, fear of failure itself, fear of what others will think of us. Fear of rejection, expectations, or demands that are placed on us. We can fear for our futures, for the future of our children and loved ones. But this is not what God wants for us.

God wants us to thrive. We cannot do that under the weight of fear. It crushes us. God wants us to have freedom. Fear entraps us and chains us, binding us.  God desires that we boldly obey. We cannot do that when we fear people. We will shy from what we are called to, pleasing man instead of God.  He wants us to trust. Fear screams loudly, it has to be stilled in order for us to trust. Fear keeps our eyes on the storm rather than on the Creator who commands it.  

The only fear that has a place in my life is fear of The Lord. He is holy and just. I know him to be gentle, loving and merciful. He has disciplined me when I have been stubborn and rebellious. He is holy and was right to discipline me. It is knowledge of who he really is that creates a proper fear in our lives. 

My own Dad lived as a godly example to us. He wouldn't want me to make him sound perfect. He is human, flawed. He lived in a way that gave me a good picture of my Heavenly Father though. I did not obey and honor my Father because I feared his anger. I can't really even remember a time when he raised his voice to us in anger. Dad was calm, self controlled, loving. I feared putting him in a position of having to discipline me, I feared hurting him with my disobedience.  This has taught me the proper way to fear The Lord.

Jeremiah 5:22 

Should you not fear me?” declares the Lord.

    “Should you not tremble in my presence?

I made the sand a boundary for the sea,

    an everlasting barrier it cannot cross.

The waves may roll, but they cannot prevail;

    they may roar, but they cannot cross it.

God has been coaxing my fear out and replacing it with peace and trust. It is a journey that won't be finished this side of heaven. It is a process. My God is faithful, he does the work patiently and at the right time. He has filled his word with promises to cling to. I need only come to him and invite him into the fear. There he shows me who He is and what He can do. In that place my eyes shift from the storm and find the face of the Creator who is in control of all. 

Here are some verses that have been meaningful over the years:

Isaiah 35:4

say to those with fearful hearts,

    “Be strong, do not fear;

your God will come,

    he will come with vengeance;

with divine retribution

    he will come to save you.”

Isaiah 41:10, 13, 14

 So do not fear, for I am with you;

    do not be dismayed, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you and help you;

    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

 For I am the Lord your God

    who takes hold of your right hand

and says to you, Do not fear;

    I will help you.

Israel’s Only Savior

    But now, this is what the Lord says—

    he who created you, Jacob,

    he who formed you, Israel:

“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;

    I have summoned you by name; you are mine.

Isaiah 51:7

 “Hear me, you who know what is right,

    you people who have taken my instruction to heart:

Do not fear the reproach of mere mortals

    or be terrified by their insults.

Isaiah 54:14 

 In righteousness you will be established:

Tyranny will be far from you;

    you will have nothing to fear.

Terror will be far removed;

    it will not come near you.

Joshua 1:9

Have I not commanded you? 

Be strong and courageous. 

Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, 

for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

1 Peter 5:7 

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

God has become my shield and my refuge. He has shown himself faithful and trustworthy to his promises!

20 Words That Changed Once We Had Kids

I had the honor of sharing at a baby shower this afternoon. I would not say I am a riveting speaker; however, my ability was definitely challenged by a terrible cold I am fighting. Oh well, it is what it is!  At any rate, as I prepared for speaking, I spent some time thinking about how having children dramatically changes our lives.

People say it for a reason. Being a parent is the most difficult, yet most rewarding job. It is a job with little appreciation. It runs you ragged. It can make you feel like the worlds worst failure. It threatens to consume you with worry. You find yourself cleaning things you never imagined. And owning things you didn't know existed. You are constantly being reminded that you are beyond your depth. Searching for new tools. Sometimes you wonder why nobody told you what to expect. Then on further reflection, you realize you simply would never have believed them.  

In spite of all of it, your heart is full.  You know to the core of your being you would do it all again.

A few things along the way can happen. For example, words you thought had simple definitions, may not.  Or perhaps you already thought you had a grasp of the definition and all of a sudden whole new levels are reached. Here are 20 that were affected for Craig and I.

1. Reality. Remember when you stood in the grocery line-up and saw some parent trying to deal with a child who was in full on melt down mode?  You probably thought to yourself "my kid won't do that!". They will.

2. Humbling. Remember in that previous situation at the grocery line up? You may have thought to yourself, "I won't talk to my child that way!" With cumulative fatigue and the right sequence of events and triggers, you might! 

3. Flexibility. You woke up with an idea of how your day was going to go. Surprise!!! So did your little! 

4. Time. You know those errands that used to take half an hour? They take an hour now. No matter what you do. It's just how it is, get used to it.

5. Fashion. I dare you to tell a toddler that blue and pink stripes don't go with that green, yellow and orange floral printed dress. Go ahead, give it a go!

6. Fascinating. Yes, every rock is different and they desperately need all 25 of them to add to their rock collection. There isn't one that can be left behind!

7. Fun. Listening to the same song or watching the same episode of a show 57 times is fun and no amount of logic will convince a little otherwise.

8. Like. It doesn't matter that they have eaten it since they were one year old. They don't like it now that they are five years old. They don't remember eating it two weeks ago, they have never eaten it or liked it.

9. Sleep. It used to be measured in nights, I had a good nights sleep. I didn't have a good nights sleep. Now it is hours, I got three in a row!!! They had a bad cough, I was up every hour. No I never have enough.

10. Nutrition. You have been so sick you have had no appetite for five days, now it is your little one who is sick and not interested in food. Who cares if the rule is "we eat our fruit, we don't drink it". The child needs calories, let them have some juice already!

11. Friend. It might take you and I some time to make one. Our little people can go to the park, play for an hour and make a new friend. The simplicity of it is beautiful really.

12. Treasure. Yes that ordinary piece of plastic they picked up in the gravel at the park is a treasure. You will not be able to convince them it is a common, ordinary, unremarkable piece of plastic.Wait until they are distracted by a new treasure and you can toss it when they aren't looking.

13. Need. You may think this is limited to things necessary for survival. I know it is hard to believe but, in the mind of a two year old, the definition is very different...and if they can't sleep without it, your definition of need may change as well.

14. Funny. Yes, the noises that a body can make are funny anywhere, anytime, for what seems like eternity. 

15. Truth. It's all about perspective and memory is terribly unreliable. Good luck, it can suddenly be terribly elusive.

16. Important. Paying your bills, making it to an important meeting in time will all seem inconsequential once you have a child who is doing something new for the first time, those other things just don't seem to make the cut.

  

17. Gross. You are going to have to trust me on this one. You will know your new definition when you see it. You could never have possibly imagined it! I am sorry. 

18. Help. They may slow you down, quadruple your work load, and prevent the accomplishment of your task, but they are helping and they are proud of it!

19. Schedule. Just when you think you have one, you don't. The moment you think it is safe to book an appointment for that time, so you do, you have doomed the schedule you thought you had.

20. Cute. I can put my hands up behind my head and you wouldn't look twice. When your new born does it. It is the most adorable, cute movement you have ever seen in your life. Wait honey, I need to get the camera!!!!

 Parenthood is not for the faint of heart. But it's worth it!! 

Happily Ever After

I was a dreamer as a child. I had a spectacular imagination and imaginative friends to share it with. I was somewhat shy, fearful and maybe a little anxious. My imagination provided a buffer from these uncomfortable negative emotions and less than helpful traits. 

I loved fairy tales. Honestly, I still do. They fed my imagination. I appreciated the ordinary, kind commoner becoming the hero or heroine. I reveled in the undoing of a villain. I enjoyed that boundaries could be pushed with the ideas of fairy dust, magic and powerful benefactors (usually Fairy Godmothers) who rose to aid the crushed and oppressed.

From my earliest exposure to fairy tales, "happily ever after" was a concept that rooted firmly in my imagination and soul.

My daughter and I went to see the new Cinderella movie this week. It is wonderful! We ached at the pain and injustice. Wondered how much cruelty she could endure. We rallied with her courage. We felt respect for the integrity and kindness she maintained towards those who were harmful. 

Disney sure knows how to take viewers through the spectrum of emotion! 

All the while our hearts longed for the moment when all would be made right. We longed for justice to be accomplished. We waited anxiously for the moment when the oppressed would overcome their oppressor. 

It was a delightful movie!

Cinderella gets her happily ever after. The evil step mother and step sisters get their just desserts. The audience leaves with the feeling that all is right with the world, nothing bad will happen to them ever again. Cinderella and her Prince are forever protected from all that is ugly and wrong with the world.  After all, that is what happily ever after is.  No more trouble. The audience breaths a collective sigh of satisfaction. Then we head out to our individual realities.

Happily ever after resonates deeply. We wish for it. Dream of it. We long for it!!

I walked away marveling at the deep sense of satisfaction I get from that aspect of a fairy tale. Happily ever after. I just love it!!!

I leave the world of imagination and go back to my life. It is loaded with the people I adore. It is full of good things. Very good things. But it is also full of struggle, sickness, pain and sorrow. Life is hard. My Mom tried so hard to prepare me for it. She tried to warn me. I resisted. I stubbornly stayed in my dream world. But as usual, my Mom knew more than me. Life is hard.  That reality hit this dreamers heart like a ton of bricks. 

I thinks the reason I, my daughter and many others love "happily ever after" is because our heart were made for it.

Revelation 21:3- 5  

And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God.  ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”

Does your soul rally?  Do you feel your skin tingle? Does your heart physically ache for it? Happily ever after is real!! 

My heart longs for it! My soul resonates with it because at my core, I know I was made for it!  It is written into our very being. There is more and we know it!  When I read the words that my mighty, powerful God will live among his people. I get giddy with excitement!! I will be with Him!!! Physically present! Eek!!! 

When I read the precious truth "He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain" my soul almost breaks with the longing I feel for that day! I am desperate for it!

God wants us all there. He looks forward to that time too. Only, he is much more patient than I.

2 Peter 3:9 (NET Bible) The Lord is not slow concerning his promise, as some regard slowness, but is being patient toward you, because he does not wish for any to perish but for all to come to repentance.

I am impatient. I want my happily ever after now.  

God, in contrast is patient. He is waiting for a reason. A reason that is so important to him.  He doesn't want to miss anyone. He wants everyone to be with him. He knows we won't all choose him. He wants us to, but he won't make us. He wants everyone who is going to choose him to have the chance.  Happily ever after won't happen until everyone who is supposed to enjoy it is accounted for.

We get to choose it or reject it.

John 1:10- 12 (NET) He was in the world, and the world was created by him, but the world did not recognize him. He came to what was his own, but his own people did not receive him. But to all who have received him—those who believe in his name—he has given the right to become God’s children. 

He wants us there, He will share it with those who want to be there with him.  He is not a tyrant forcing people to be in his presence when they do not want to be.  He lets us come to him. So we wait. All of creation is hanging on until the roster is full and we are all ready.

Until then, I will cling to the hope of it. I will endure what I must. The promise of eternity in the presence of my loving God is worth it. I was made for it and I long for it. In just a little while, I will get my eternity of "happily ever after"!

A Long Road

Tomorrow will be the 1 year anniversary of my first ever emergency surgery.  It has been a long road to healing. I found myself up at midnight in extreme pain and by 4:30 I was in ER. At 9:30 that night I was heading into surgery.

It was a bit of a gong show. My nurses however, were amazing!! After surgery my doctors and nurses were truly wonderful.  I felt bad for our nurses working short staffed and over capacity. It was clear they wanted to offer a higher standard of care, yet circumstances prevented it. Still they accomplished their work with a smile and good humor. They worked compassionately & professionally. They were run right off their feet!!

I was naive about recovery, so naive! I didn't realize what recovery involved.

What I learned about physical healing:

1. Healing requires time.  When my doctor said I would be off work for 6 weeks. I panicked. When they said it would be a gradual increase over the following weeks, I couldn't believe it. When they said it could be a year before I felt like myself again, I was in full on denial. In my line of work that is costly both financially and in clients.  It was slow going when I was getting back to work. That was really difficult. God had me covered. He took very good care of us. 

2. Rest is crucial. I cannot nap unless I am very ill. Or apparently if I have had surgery. All of a sudden I was napping a few times a day. At first I was so frustrated by this waste of time. I soon realized that the opportunity to rest was a gift. I learned that rest was valuable and the important work of healing was accomplished through it.

3. Limits aren't fixed.  When healing, you never know how much activity is too much. As you get better, what you can do and how much of it you can do are constantly changing. Looking forward to doing a task again was a great way to stay encouraged.

4. Over doing it, isn't the end of the world.  I would constantly get scolded by well meaning people. I thought sweeping was light house keeping. I learned the hard way, it is not! The first day I was allowed to drive, I drove all over the place. I was so tired of being cooped up. I came home and had a big long nap. The next day I was so very sore that I had to stay home and rest. I had to rest the next day as well. I was alright with that because at least I had a bit of independence back and had gotten out of the house all on my own! 

5. My family could do more than I had been asking them too.  This was a great opportunity to get the kids to be even more independent. They were great at helping out and took on new responsibility willingly and for the most part with a great attitude.

6. Gratitude.  I have taken my strength and health for granted.  I am much more aware of what a gift this is.

7. I am more purposeful. I have always loved exercise, recreation and movement. I have taken it for granted. I wont any longer.  The hardest thing for me in all of this was the limits placed on me and the loss of independence.  I am much more focused on maintaining movement. I am more aware of the independence it allows me.

8. I  need help and what I want, might not be what I need.  I learned to pay attention to my limits and ask for help. There were a few times where fatigue and exhaustion caused me to feel panicked. I was able to evaluate the circumstance and change the plan to be more manageable. If that meant asking for help, I did.

9.  Friendships and laughter are what gets you through.  Times laughing with friends were looked forward to and were so valuable.  Laughing about my circumstances with loved ones was very helpful.

10.  These things reveal a lot about oneself.  I learned a whole lot about myself through this. Not all of it good! I have had to face those things and work them out.

We have a very generous church family. We have amazing friends and I could not be more thankful for my husband and children.  I love that they understand my need to get out and play and are willing to come with me! I don't want to go through a surgery like this again. I am glad for what it taught me even though it took so much longer than I thought it would!

Just a Little While

We waded into deep waters in today's bible study. My heart was so full, my eyes were leaking. I really get frustrated with that. I teased, saying, "Either I am just exhausted (which I am), or maybe I really am a big ol cry baby!"

We are in 2 Thessalonians 2:1-17. Heavy stuff. End times heavy.

In summary:

The writer of the letter, the Apostle Paul, is cautioning the church regarding the sharing of a false teaching. Some among them had been tripped up in an incorrect teaching concerning the second coming of Christ.  The teaching was that the end was very near (2 Thess. 2:1-3). Paul proceeds to correct the false teaching he is cautioning them against. He reminds them of two great events that precede the second coming of Christ. He asks them if they remember him telling them this when he was with them (2:5). The first event that has to happen is an apostasy. This is a turning away from and rejection of God.  It is a rebellion. This is followed by the revelation of the Antichrist.  Paul prepares them by painting a picture on such things as the Antichrist's name, his character, his rise, his fall and his reign.  Along with this he reveals the sin and ruin of those who choose to follow him (2:4-12). He then comforts them against the terror of this apostasy, and encourages them to stand firm (2:13-15). Paul ends this challenging portion of teaching with a beautiful prayer for the follower (2:16, 17).

As I was doing my homework my heart was heavy. During the rebellion, things will be tough. As believers, we can expect to be hated. Jesus himself warns us of this in Matthew 10:22 and John 15:18-20. We shouldn't be surprised, he has warned us so we are ready.  

I felt the deep need to reach out and encourage our study group. As I felt fear of these times creeping into my soul I needed to encourage myself with truth and reach out to my sisters to encourage them. I felt like yelling, "don't let fear sneak in where hope belongs!" I was speaking to myself more than anyone. 

It is hard to study the end times. I tend to forget the promises of God to help his followers stand firm in these hard times. I get stuck in the reality of my own human weakness and in my failure to prepare my children adequately. I want to run to my friends who don't know how much God loves them and beat them over the head with the truth. I start to forget what is my job and what is God's job. Fear leads me to the wrong things. 

That is why God gave me my husband. He is properly grounded, his default is to know, without doubt, that God will hold tight to his followers. He knows to the core of his being that God has this figured out and we do not need to give in to fear.  He helped me get past the fear that was creeping in and remember truth. I am held tight in the arms of the One who has already won.

Through the power of the Spirit and the word of Truth, God will hold us fast. There are a few things I need to take from this study.  The first is to focus on God's victory and the promise of eternity with him. More than that:

1. Keep my head (2 Thess 2:2) I can not afford to be shaken. I need to keep my wits and focus on the truth. God has already won and I am on his side. That is what Craig helped me do, clearly I need work in this area!!  

2. Don't let anyone deceive me (2:3). I have to know the truth, be in the word, know the word and let it transform me. If I know the truth, I will recognize the deceiver.

3. I need to be prepared. I can know what to expect, this also comes from knowing the word. We do not know the time or the hour, but God has given us some information on what we can expect. There will be a time of rebellion.  In that rebellion a man of lawlessness will come who sets himself up to be worshiped, will perform miraculous signs and deceive many (2:3-4, 9-10). Scripture tells us some of what to expect.

4. The Lord is in control and reigns. His breath alone will be enough to destroy the man of lawlessness (2:5-8).

5. I need to remain in the love of God.  My identity is "sister, loved by God" (2:13). The NET version has a beautiful translation of this in the book of Jude 1:1, 20,21 , "From Jude, a slave of Jesus Christ and brother of James, to those who are called, wrapped in the love of God the Father and kept for Jesus Christ..."But you, dear friends, by building yourselves up in your most holy faith, by praying in the Holy Spirit, maintain yourselves in the love of God, while anticipating the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ that brings eternal life."

6. I can remember that I have been called to obtain glory. I am saved ( 2:14)!

7. I need to stand firm and hold on to what I know the Bible teaches and the example I see in those who emulate Christ (2:15).

8. My faith is built by turning to God for comfort, encouragement, good hope and strength (2:16-17).

What ever we suffer in this world is just for a little while in the light of eternity. When we lack strength,  we run to God. He gives us what we need for the moment, hour, day and week. When we lean on him, we find we can withstand the things that threaten to take us down or overcome us. I have found that when I cling to God,  what I didn't think I could survive for a moment, I have endured for years. The only way that happens is through complete surrender to him. 

It is just for a little while! Hang onto Him and stand firm!  Whatever we have to suffer on this earth is worth it for the promise of Eternity. That moment when we get to see God face to face, our tears will be wiped away. All suffering will be gone. All that is wrong with the world will be made right. Our Savior will look us in the eye and present us with our true name. We will live in Eternity with our Creator, the one in whom all that is good, true, creative, fun and enjoyable finds it's source. The hope of Eternity is enough.

For now, for just a little while, we have to live on this broken planet. 

Now may our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by grace, gave us eternal comfort and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good thing you do or say.  2 Thessalonians 2:16-17 (NET)

One day at a time, and in just a little while, Eternity will be ready for us to obtain. Until then, a new day dawns and there are good things for you and I to do, good things for you and I to say.

What is Coming Down the Family Line?

Have you ever wondered who in your family passed on the gene for your eye color, or freckles? Or where in the family line the musical ability started? Is your family known for business savvy? Where did that begin?

I have been listening to the Old Testament. When listening to large sections in one sitting, certain patterns become more clear. The Patriarchs of our faith were really normal people in some ways. Their families had good qualities and some qualities they may have wished they could keep quiet.  

They walked with God, showed great faith, were obedient in hard situations. 

They also lied, deceived, showed favoritism, had sibling rivalry, do I need to continue? 

It is easier for us to recognize the patterns of these  generations because they are written down for us to read. When Isaac lied to King Abimelech saying Rachel was his sister, did he know his father had done the exact same thing? To a king with the same name, or perhaps even the very same king?  

Did Jacob not recognize the damage his parents favoritism had caused between himself and his brother? Was he really unaware that favoring his one son over the others could create chaos? He lived it and repeated it. 

That is the really terrifying reality. If we don't pay attention, these things follow us. They repeat. 

A number of years ago Craig and were at a Pastor and Spouses
retreat. The authors of a book called Emotionally Healthy Spirituality were there. It was an interesting weekend. I enjoyed watching how people responded to their ideas. At one point we were asked to do a geno-gram. Tracing our family trees back three generations and describing the people and relationships. Loads of people did not appreciate the exercise. It made them uncomfortable, or they thought it was ridiculous. I don't know if it is because people instinctively want to ignore what is unpleasant. Perhaps people are uncomfortable with that level of introspection. Observing reactions was interesting to me.

I had approached the task with a fairly neutral attitude. As I tried to write down the negative patterns, I became uncomfortable. I couldn't continue with the negative statements without acknowledging the positive first. I needed to frame it within the strengths and beauty of my family. There are so many!! For each part of the tree, I started with the positives and then moved onto negatives.  I was very surprised as God began to unravel patterns.  

I love my family, I am proud of my heritage. However, no matter how amazing the family, we are all broken somewhere.  As my husband says, if there are no negative patterns in your family, pride is the negative pattern. We are human and where humans gather, there is brokenness. 

As patterns began to become clear, Craig and I could look and see what God had been doing in our family lines. The task also gave us the motivation to prayerfully seek God about what areas he wanted to bring healing and change to. What negative patterns did he want to stop?

These don't have to be huge evil things.  It can be as simple as how do the individuals in your family handle criticism, conflict, hurt? Is there an illness that sneaks into every generation, are their things that can be done to prevent it from continuing? Are there workaholics? Overachievers, underachievers?  The challenge is to allow God to surface the patterns and prayerfully listen. What are his goals? What is his priority? Where does he want to bring healing and restoration?

I know I have made this sound dreadful, but it wasn't. It has been freeing. God is responsible for the healing. We just need to cooperate with him. It requires focus, patience, and openness. This exercise is not intended to cause bad feelings towards your family. Often as individuals work through it they see where their parents did some hard work to improve things. It can actually increase love and compassion for the previous generations. 

As I read through the Bible I am often encouraged by the flawed nature of its characters. If God could accomplish his purpose through them, then he can achieve his will through me too.  I think that may be why God chose regular people to be the forefathers of faith. In the middle of the crazy there are incredible, redemptive moments where God shines. Joseph, after being betrayed, sold, lied about, wrongfully imprisoned, forgotten, chooses to forgive his brothers and acknowledges that "what you meant for evil, God meant for good." Genesis 50:20.  Who says that? Especially after going through long years of incredible hurt? God shines, he redeems what is negative. He heals what is broken. He wants to do this work in us and in our families. It is alright to face what comes down the family line. It helps us move forward. Looking back can keep us from repeating the patterns that don't need to be repeated.

A Few Things Raising a Daughter Taught Me

Our first born is a girl. She is awesome! From the moment she was born she has delighted, confounded and amazed us. We have been head over heels in love with her from the moment we discovered she was coming. Have I mentioned I LOVE girls?? I do, I really do!  Raising our sweet daughter has been a privilege and an honor. She has made it a fantastic ride.

Having grown up with a sister, I felt a little more prepared for this journey than I did for raising boys. I am so blessed to have been able to experience both. What joy this has been!!!  This girl of ours has also enriched us, challenged us and made us better. She is a remarkable young woman and we thank God for her daily. He has gifted us with this precious one and he gets all the credit for who she is. Seriously!

Here are a few things raising a girl has taught me.

1. Girls can wear out their jeans just as fast as boys. Truth! People were always telling me not to expect the boys to outgrow their jeans before they wore them out. I remember being extremely puzzled by this unsolicited warning. I didn't know that was unusual because our daughter had always worn out her jeans before outgrowing them too!

2. Girls love to conquer. On the way to the park one day she fell running down a hill. At 18 months of age that little one went up and down that hill until she could run it as fast as she could without falling! I just love the spirit shown by that!!! She set a goal for running her mile in a certain time frame last year and made it. She loves to conquer!

3. Girls are always ready for a tea party. Need I say more? Every little girl needs a proper tea set and regular tea dates!! If Dad can join in, all the better!

4. Cars are as much fun as dolls.  Gender shouldn't limit the kind of toys a child has the opportunity to play with. Our sweet pea enjoyed all toys and never missed a chance to play. Having brothers, she was always ready to join in any game.

5. Little girls love puddles and mud. If there was rain, we were geared up and ready to go. Splashing in puddles and playing with mud made rainy days a party!! 

6. Girls enjoy adventure and action. If we want to try something new, our girl is the first one excited and ready go. She has an eagerness to try new things and be on the move. With my daughter around, I am never without company for an excursion!

7. Girls are not afraid of sweat. Our daughter loves physical exertion. She loves to push herself and take on a physical challenge. The highest compliment is for a coach or physical educator to comment on her work ethic. 

8. Dressing up is fun, but nothing beats a girls favorite pair of jeans and cozy hoodie. 

9. Girls enjoy their independence. She will get the lid off that jar, she will lift a heavy load, she can and will do it herself! It was the funniest thing when she got her wisdom teeth pulled. Under the influence of the medication used for the procedure, she still became indignant when we tried to help her with her coat.  It was the 18 year old version of "I do it!" So funny!

10. Girls have a deeply loyal and protective spirit. I have seen this in my daughter, in her friends and in her team mates. In elementary school a new girl entered the scene. Insecure and unsure, she tried to turn the girls against each other to make a place for herself. She made her rounds, picking on girls. This group was loyal and stood together. When she tried it with our daughter, all the girls surrounded our daughter with their desks. The message was "Don't mess with this girl, she is our friend!" They kept giving the new girl chances, every time she tried this kind of behavior, they shut it down. This loyalty and protectiveness is strong and it is beautiful! It was a true sisterhood.

11. Girls have an endless ability to love and forgive. Her acts of compassion, forgiveness and love have astounded and blessed me.

12. Girls love to laugh. There is no sound as sweet and pure as a group of girls laughing and giggling. I used to just sit and enjoy it when she had play dates.  The giggles of girls are so good for the soul!

13. They are also born with the heart of a hero. They are usually content to let someone handle a situation on their own, until a line has been crossed. If that line is crossed, look out! Justice is important and if they find someone in a situation that is unfair, they will get involved no matter what the consequence. I was prepared for her to get kicked out of class for the first time ever this year as she struggled with the tyranny of a teacher.  She spoke up, challenged, defended. She struggled to show respect to someone who didn't respect others.  She could not sit quietly by and let it happen.  I love this about her. 

This list is not exhaustive. There is so much more. It is overwhelming to prepare her to live in a world that in many ways wants to force it's values and ideas on her. I wonder if we have equipped her to stand strong in the midst of it.  It is overwhelming to be charged with the task of preparing her to take on the future she wants, to chase down the job she wants, and make choices that are the best for her and what God is calling her to. She is resilient and tough. I look forward to seeing her future unfold. 

Raising our girl has been an amazing adventure. I cherish her and the lessons she has taught me.